How do you guys handle frg burn out? I think I'm feeling a little burned out at the moment.

We have an extremely large group of parents and spouses we are trying to keep track of. And it seems to me that the brigade seems to want us to do more and more, like regularly going to visit every spouse. How much time do they think we have? I have certainly gone to visit spouses for particular reasons. And we do have POC's making phone calls on a regular basis. But at times I feel like what we are doing isn't good enough. Like if we can't contact a spouse because they didn't pay their phone bill and their phone got turned off or they took an extended vacation out of state and didn't tell anyone. I sometimes feel dissapproval from the higher ups when situations like this arise.

I guess I need to take up yoga and just continue to try to do my best. Anyone else feel frustrated like this sometimes?

I never heard one peep from my FRG unless it was in the form of the monthly newsletter. Any other info was sent in mass emails. So you must be doing a fine job if you're already going the extra mile

Your command is asking too much of you and you need to let them know that. Yes, you want to contact every spouse, but you really need to find a place and set up a regularly scheduled meeting.

Inform people of the meetings. Have the command put out the information through the chain of command. Have them put it in command newsletters, meanwhile you can send e-mails, make phone calls, etc.

Plus, everyone is supposed to volunteer to be contacted by the FRG. The ombudsman should have a list of all family members and contact information, but the FRG should only have contact information from those who requested to be contacted by the FRG.

I have found that no matter how much work you do, or how many events and activities you set up, less than 20% ever want to attend unless they are getting something for free.

They will attend the Christmas parties and accept the free gifts for their kids, but won't go to regular meetings, they won't go to activities that are free like a pool gathering or a command picnic, and they would never volunteer to help in fund raising.

There are weeks I spend 25 - 30 hours working on stuff for the FRG, and I don't have to call every family member in the command. If I had that added pressure, I don't know that I would continue to volunteer my services.

With all that being said, the FRG is an extension of the CO. If the CO insists that the FRG have everyone's contact information and that everyone be contacted, you need to see about setting up a phone tree. Within the phone tree, you contact 10 people. Each of those ten people contact 5 people. Then each of those 5 contact 5 more. (roughly 300 people will be contacted in this scenario)

Hi - thats for the responses. We have a very large company and everyone on our phone tree is someone that has asked to be on it. Before our soldiers deployed we had every one of them update their frg contacts or sign a statement of non-participation if they didn't want frg contact. So unfortunately we are already calling only the people who want to be called.

And on top of all my earlier whining, we do have monthly meetings, family outings, and email updates. I try not to be a point of contact for calling, but if a volunteer wants or needs to stop for some reason I will take over the calling of that list until a new volunteer can be found. I even have one volunteer with two lists.

So I don't feel guilty that we aren't doing enough. I just get frustrated when a decision or action we took to a situation is questioned, or someone asks why we can't get in touch with so-and-so (maybe they left the state and didn't tell anyone) or they wonder about the possibility of us doing home visits on top of everything else.

I try to just do my job as best I can without shortchanging myself or my family and not let the other stuff get to me.

I just wondered what other people do when they feel a bit frustrated or burned out.

quote:

Originally posted by gabbycat:

I just wondered what other people do when they feel a bit frustrated or burned out.

Come on here and vent! Sometimes just writing about it gets it out of the system.

Also, sometimes it helps me to just take a day off. I tell myself, I'm not going to work on FRG stuff today no matter what. Today is for me and my family. That's what I'm doing today (it's my B'Day). At the FRG Executive meeting last night I told them I have a lot of stuff to get to Thursday, but I wasn't doing anything today.

Happy birthday! And good for you for taking the day off.

By the way, I feel much better after venting here. Thanks for listening.

This is exactly why the Army needs to revamp their family support systems and PAY people do to this work as a matter of administration/management and they coordinate volunteers... relying solely on volunteers risks higher burnout, low retention, and pains for the CO. Nonprofits dont work this way- why should our valuable resources be burned into the ground for the sake of making sure a spouse has a newsletter, phone call or email every month? They have just as much responsibility to contact the FRG right?

10% of what the FRG is truly necessary, the 90% is fluff.

quote:

Originally posted by GTG_USAF:
This is exactly why the Army needs to revamp their family support systems and PAY people do to this work as a matter of administration/management and they coordinate volunteers... relying solely on volunteers risks higher burnout, low retention, and pains for the CO. Nonprofits dont work this way- why should our valuable resources be burned into the ground for the sake of making sure a spouse has a newsletter, phone call or email every month? They have just as much responsibility to contact the FRG right?

10% of what the FRG is truly necessary, the 90% is fluff.

I agree with you that the FRGs for the Army, Navy, and Marine Corps should be paid positions, I would even say they probably need to be run by people who are not family members of someone in the command, because currently the FRG leaders are trying to coordinate things while going through the same things during deployment as everyone else.

However, I don't feel that 90% is fluff. I'm just wondering how many times you have been seperated from your spouse for 6 months or more at a time. Have you gone through a 3 year period where the servicemembers at the command were gone for more than 24 of the 36 months?

While not everyone needs the monthly meetings or to attend activities, etc. There are usually at least a handful that need the opportunities to get out and socialize. Sometimes you have to contact everyone to make sure you reach the few that really need to be contacted.

quote:

There are usually at least a handful that need the opportunities to get out and socialize. Sometimes you have to contact everyone to make sure you reach the few that really need to be contacted.

90% of what FRG's do, SO DOES THE ACS (or another org w/in another branch) SO while the FRG breaks their back to arrange these little briefs and classes, the same thing is going on w/in the ACS itself.

I'm striking a chord but resiliency is faltering w/in our families. Tripled if not quadrupled incidence of child abuse and neglect and yet our FRG's are supposed to be stronger than ever, Army support is supposed to be more functional? There are serious service gaps and systems elements NOT being met and NOT being evaluated and monitored w/in these programs and administrators.

So the FRG's must break themselves to get 10% of the unit together who want it while trying to contact the 90% who dont want to be bothered? (those nubmers are inflated I realize)

Programs that are social in nature are proven to be as beneficial IF NOT MORE than those providing specific information and structured guidance. Through social relationships, referrals and references are made, connections to the community increased, sharing of information and resources, and familial-esque ties strengthened. There is little need for FRG's to have the financial, parenting, military, medical and what not briefs at these meetings. ACS and other professionals are PAID to do so, therefore duplicating services amongst many orgs and venues.

FRG's- make them optional and make them social!

quote:

Originally posted by GTG_USAF:

FRG's- make them optional and make them social!

What makes you think the FRGs aren't optional and social? 75% - 80% of what our FRG does is social. It is pool outings, picnics at the beach, 1/2 Way Dinners, Holiday parties, etc. Most of our fund raising centers around things like candygrams to the Sailors on the Ship, or filling shoe boxes and wrapping them for shoe box auctions on the Ship. We are also doing a Spaghetti dinner where the executive board is cooking and serving dinner and tickets are being sold $5 for adults and $3 for 10 and under. So it is a fund raiser and a social gathering at the same time.

The guest speakers we have at about 1 out of 3 meetings will cover subjects that the FFSC provides classes for, but it is at a time where the family members can attend rather than between 8 AM - 5 PM, plus we have child care available.

quote:

Originally posted by GTG_USAF:
This is exactly why the Army needs to revamp their family support systems and PAY people do to this work as a matter of administration/management and they coordinate volunteers... relying solely on volunteers risks higher burnout, low retention, and pains for the CO. Nonprofits dont work this way- why should our valuable resources be burned into the ground for the sake of making sure a spouse has a newsletter, phone call or email every month? They have just as much responsibility to contact the FRG right?

10% of what the FRG is truly necessary, the 90% is fluff.

We (Army) do have paid staff to do this. They are GC Contract hires called FRG Support Assistants aka FRSA. THey are down to the BTN level and should be helping the FRGs with all their Administrative needs including but not limited to, setting up meetings, conducting audits, liaising with BTN Advisor, BTN Cmdr and BDE FRSA.

Hi- We have FRSA. From what I can see it is just an FRG Assistant at the Battalion level rather than Brigade level. They make themselves available to the FRG to answer questions that the FRG leader can't answer and find support when requested. Ours does not set up our meetings, take care of our adminstrative needs or conduct audits. We meet with the BTN Commander ourlselves at the Steering Committee Meetings.

Having the FRSA is nice in that it gives me another resource when we need it, but having one has not lightened the work load for the FRG volunteers that I can see.

quote:

Originally posted by gabbycat:
Hi- We have FRSA. From what I can see it is just an FRG Assistant at the Battalion level rather than Brigade level. They make themselves available to the FRG to answer questions that the FRG leader can't answer and find support when requested. Ours does not set up our meetings, take care of our adminstrative needs or conduct audits. We meet with the BTN Commander ourlselves at the Steering Committee Meetings.

Having the FRSA is nice in that it gives me another resource when we need it, but having one has not lightened the work load for the FRG volunteers that I can see.

Our BTN FRSA has not been officially offered the job yet, interviewed but CPAC has not offered the job. Our BTN plans on utilizing her to the fullest including the Administrative needs of the FRGs as needed. They will be at the Steering Committee which is attended by BTN Commander, FRG Advisor, Company Commanders, CSM, 1SG, BOSS rep and FRG Leaders. Our BTN wants the FRSAs to ease alot of the administrative burdens off the FRG volunteer and if it means making copies for them for their meeting then that's what they will be helping with.

Sounds great, I hope it works out that your FRSA does all that for you. It would certainly be a big help. Ours has been on the job for several weeks now and I haven't really seen much difference. Of course it could be they are still aclimating to the job. But no-one has mentioned to me that they will be doing all the stuff you mentioned. You are lucky.

Yeah it's really about how your BN chooses to utilize the FRSA since they answer to the BN Commander. If we limit to using the FRSA as just a body to answer questions to the FRG, then we are not using them fully. The job description states that they will assist with administrative needs of the FRGs and there's plenty of that to do to ease the burden on our FRGs.

I'm sure FRSAs at the BN level are or can be a wonderful asset for active duty folks who are all located in roughly the same geographic location. We in the National Guard, though, need them at the company level. Our companies are, at best, located in the same state as the BNHQ. Sometimes that's not even the case. And our individual folks may travel hours from where they live to their unit's home location.

NG_Wife-FYI some states are experimenting with hiring FRSA's at centalized, but not always BN headquarters Levels-i think in our state-or rather the one my husband drills in-they are going to get 4 for what is essentially 2 BN's and 4 seperate companies-geographically distributed. Also remember that they are funded based on number of personnel-and a Full up NG BN is about 300 or 400 soldiers smaller than and AD one so they dont get funding for as many.
as for the question about burn out-i was an FRG leader for years-i now run screaming the other direction at the mear mention

Whenever I feel overwhelmed by the amount of responsibility placed upon me (usually by me) I remind myself that the central function of the FRG is to put out information.

FRG Mission
act as an extension of the unit in providing official, accurate command information
• provide mutual support between the command and the FRG membership
• advocate more efficient use of community resources
• help families solve problems at the lowest level.

As long as information is going out and resources are available I am doing my VOLUNTEER job. No where does the mission say to fund raise or visit people in their homes. If people want to visit they can come to the FRG gatherings.

We are on our 4th FRSA since they started the program. We had only 1 truly good one, but she, like the rest and current one for our BN are spread so thin. At least that is what I am telling myself is the reason I don't get help from her.
Alway attending meetings or she has to be doing something for the other companies because she sure doesn't do much for our company. We preach the virtues..no pun intended of the vFRG, virtual FRG..and I have been sending her pictures of FRG events since the summer and she has yet to put any up!

She doesn't tell me when we get new soldiers. Doesn't offer to help with rosters.
She has never asked me if there is anything she can do for me. All she does is fwd emails she gets from ACS on who's distro list I am already on so I get the messages twice. Oh, sure, she does send out a few info emails that pertain to just our BN
While I am venting...
I have a female FRL who has been in the Army 14 years and HATES it when wives call her. She was ok the first 3 months, but then had her fill and got burnt out.
I want to tell her so much that if a wife calls, she generally is in need of something, whether it's just information or something more and she could be upset because because she's emoting and not thinking logically yet.
I do NOT believe in exploiting an FRL. They are not there to take you to a medical appt or to the airport if you want to go home. Their first duty is to the unit, then garrison and finally to the families.
But, if she could just take down that wall and instead of being antagonistic right away and defensive when she hears their emotions, to put aside the emotion in the caller/spouse's voice and just listen to the question or try and get to the core of the question..instead of, 'you can't talk to me that way! I don't put up with that attitude from lower enlisted and I certainly am not going to from their spouse!'
I would love to tell her, but she is so sensitive and I have to treat her with kid gloves as I have many, many months to work with her.
I think part of the problem is that Leadership isn't getting the message to their soldiers what the FRL does. I am talking Family Readiness Liason sp? the green suiter who is the link between command and the FRG Leader and members.
The soldiers continue to think that if something comes up, no matter what, it's the FRL's job to handle it.
I was so thrilled at a recent predeployment briefing when our BN C.O. said he would not hesitate to send a family home who causes grief to us here trying to maintain the sanity.

And FINALLY, I am burned out about my POC's. I only have one that is dependable and so I wind up fwding information to everyone in an email instead of sending to my POC's to forward.

I stepped up after having just retired from FRG for 4 months when they pushed up our deployment date. Having been the leader thru 4 training periods and just now getting to the actual nuts and bolts of the mission, my goal is to hang in there til we are half way thru.

Thank you for letting me vent. I am also proud of myself for getting some projects rolling predeployment and for searching out information and sending it out to prepare my spouses as much as possible. I am still inspired!

It's late now, but I will come back to seek advice on fun things to do and games to play at meetings, etc.
...yawn..thanks everyone

To everyone who has replyed to this post and everyone who hasn't, I appreciate it all. My husband is deployed to Iraq right now and the FRG meetings are what my son (2 yrs) and I look forward to. There are 2 meetings each month, usually a "meeting" and a party. It does make the time go faster. I know there must be a lot of work put into all of it in order for it to run properly. We are in the Navy and it is all volunteer work. I know there are many people just like me that appreciate it more than you know. My husband was previously deployed to Japan and I didn't know there was such a thing as FRG. I was very bored and depressed as well as trying to raise a newborn. There was a comment made in a previous remark about spouses being away for 24 out of 36 months. We are pretty close to hitting that mark. My son is 2 and my husband has seen him for 9 of those months. He left before his birth, by a few months and returned right before his first birthday. Then, turned around and left 9 months later. So, I gotcha.....It is hard. Just everyone please know that there are many people who appreciate what you do and do not know how you do it all. But, we thank you!