I have no idea where else to post this.

I am dealing with my second deployment. I have never been outside the wire, and this FOB is much safer than my last tour in Baghdad which was punctuated by a lot of mortars and the occasional SAF. This is not PTSD - I had the usual run of hypervigilance and occasional weird dreams when I returned home, but it faded after a few months. What I am dealing with is, I guess, just operational stress. I have recently and unexpectedly lost my Dad, who was in his mid-forties. The length of this tour (15 months, and I am only few months into it) coupled with Stop-Loss time, added to little to no time off from a very high-stress position, has really just about finished me off.

I am losing my concentration. I forget tasks. I have been corrected repeatedly for making stupid mistakes. All this in a high-stakes deadline-ridden job. Mistakes are not acceptable.

I have daydreamed about running away - but there is nowhere to run on a FOB, and I won't leave my unit or the mission, regardless. I have fantasized about getting blown up, or injuring myself, just so I can get some rest or maybe even go home. I want so badly to go home - more than I have since I left home 8 years ago! I won't act on these thoughts, but the fact that I have had them scares me.

I just feel like the ground has been pulled out from under me and I am overwhelmed by it all. I have my good moments and my bad moments. This isn't depression - and it isn't PTSD. I think it's just straight-up grief I have not had time to process compounded by stress. I have tried to put all my sadness on the back burner, because I barely have time after work to work out and e-mail home before crashing, but it keeps boiling over and I think that is the main reason my concentration is suffering and why I feel so drained all the time even if I sleep seven full hours. Sometimes I can't sleep though, because I'll finally have a crying spell lasting into the early hours of the morning. Needless to say it is impossible to make up lost sleep around here...

I should go see Mental Health. I don't know where that is here or if I have to inform my entire freaking Chain of Command. I don't know if there is some long line with preference given (rightly) to guys dealing with actual combat trauma. I don't want to lose a lot of time away from mission. Maybe I'll go ask the Chaplain. All I know is I surely cannot go on like this for twelve more months. Something has to give.

speaking with the chaplain is an excellent place to start... also, go see the 1st shirt. (that's AF, i'm not sure what branch you are).

there's also nothing wrng with going to the clinic / med trailer, and telling them you're having trouble dealing with stress.

you're not the first one, and not alone. no reason to go to the chain of command, at this point, but suicidal ideation (fantasys about getting blown up or injured just so you can rest) are not something to be taken lightly.

my opinion, go see the chaplain, and then see what he/she suggests, but definately, don't let this go on -- it doesn't get better on it's own.

exhaustion, mental nad physical can lead to chronic mental health issues, if not addressed... and it also sounds like you're dealing some depression, and still grieving.

HH:
Good advice from Apples, I suggest you take it. The military now has recognized treatment for Acute Traumatic Stress Disorder. Contrary to what some believe, this will not work against you in the future if you acquire PTSD. It will show the problem began on active duty.
I have several clients that served in the 10th Mountain Division, you guys do an outstanding job!

You all are right. I should go see somebody because I'm gonna be here for a while and at this rate it's going to get worse before it gets better. I made a pact with a buddy of mine stuck in med hold in the rear in his own sticky situation. We are both going to make the call, and follow through . . . Thank God for Battles. They don't make friends like that on the outside, do they?

quote:

Dave, Let me know if I'm outta line here.

Great advice, thanks!

Fort Drum: The Tip of a Tragic Iceberg
February 15, 2008

What happens when you deploy troops who have seen high intensity combat time and time again with inadequate dwell time between tours? You see skyrocketing mental health issues.

After months of investigative work, talking to our troops and veterans, we released a report on the situation at Fort Drum in Watertown, New York. Since 9/11, the 2nd Brigade Combat Team has been deployed for more than forty months, more than any other brigade in the Army and we are seeing what is nothing short of a cry for help from the men and women on the base; a cry we will answer.

A cry for help that is also coming from the leadership on the base. In a New York Times article on February 13th about our report, Major General Michael Oates, commander of the 10th Mountain Division, says: "We recognize that there is stress on our force and their families from this conflict, but until recently, we have not fully appreciated the extent of some of the mental stresses and injuries or how to best identify them".

What is happening at Fort Drum - with Soldiers still on active duty suffering from PTSD, with Soldiers and their families in need of counseling, with Soldiers literally dying while still on duty - is going to happen all around America, unless we begin to address some of the basic issues of this war. As our report explains, DoD itself has stated that the likelihood of troops having mental health problems increases by 60% with every tour of duty. So, in short, through our deployment policies, we are consciously compounding the wounds of war. This is unacceptable to us. Veterans for America's Wounded Warrior Outreach Program will continue to address these problems from the bottom up.

We are going to go to as many bases as we can afford to go to, see what is happening on those bases and see how we can help. If you can help us, we would greatly appreciate it.

We are going to continue our Wounded Warrior Registry Outreach - if you or someone you know needs help getting help with PTSD or TBI, please click here.

And above all, we are going to continue to serve and help those that serve and have served us with the same level of dedication and courage they have shown. Click here to learn more about what we are doing.

Jason W. Forrester
Veterans For America

The earlier the intervention in any case of emotional trauma, the better.

Althought the Chaplain may be helpful, it's best to seek out a qualified professional who is competent in the area of military-based trauma.

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Originally posted by OldAFcop:
The earlier the intervention in any case of emotional trauma, the better.

Althought the Chaplain may be helpful, it's best to seek out a qualified professional who is competent in the area of military-based trauma.

Based on my experience with Clergy, I do feel the Chaplain would do their duty and refer the service member to the proper clinician for correct treatment. Agreeing with OldAFcop it is critical to get competent help as soon as possible.

quote:

Agreeing with OldAFcop it is critical to get competent help as soon as possible.

Thanks, Dave.