quote:

Originally posted by OldAFcop:
Go wherever you want to on this forum. It's yours and yours to use. It's our job to work together to help veterans and servicemembers work together.

Yes, thank you first thing JR. I have been smoozing it over and reading more on "the monkey". Still processing it all. I think back and agreed with others words like suck itup, attitude ajustment needed or get over it. The words ptsd or asd ,who knew? Who understood it all. Not I. Just going through life wondering what was wrong? All so weird and than to give it a name made it approachable from denial. Now I am thinking about my responses to things that did not make sense to me before. Now I am seeing myself more clearly. OMG, I don't know how I made it this far. I had alot of help a whole lot of help but to me the journey is a miracle. I could never repay that much help. JR. Still my prayers are consistant with thanks and blessing to the help from people over the years to present. May Yashua of the Elohem bless even their seed. Even if they are not believers. God moves mysteriously I pray Jude 1:1-2 always. I hope I do not offend anyone. It is my own personal thing since I was 12 years old. I don't preach only share sometimes. I am saying thank you here for many including JR. I got more to contemplate and will write more maybe latter. Sincerely, Patrick

quote:

God moves mysteriously

Indeed He does!

quote:

Originally posted by OldAFcop:

quote:

God moves mysteriously

Indeed He does!

DITTO


SSgt65

You can bet on that one!

Hi Family,
Got Windy Here,This is the first time I've been Here.
Patrick, It Quickens my heart to here someone speak of the God of the Godhead.For he is,"Greater than Great could ever be Great!" With a true Love that passes all understanding; He Loves us more than we will ever be able to Fathem."He is Lord"
I believe that we who have PTSD, can be sane in an insane world.Though at times we may exibit trates that would make some wonder. "where sanity realy lyes" ROMANS 9:20

Mercy unto you,
and peace,& love
be multiplied,
Windy

quote:

I believe that we who have PTSD, can be sane in an insane world.

No truer statement can be made.

quote:

Originally posted by OldAFcop:

quote:

I believe that we who have PTSD, can be sane in an insane world.

No truer statement can be made.

SO SO TRUE


SSgt65
Ron

Hi Patrick,

When I look back over the last decades ,
it is very aparent to me that PTSD touched every part of my life and also that of my
first wife and children.

IE I first started teaching my children about firearms, damned near from birth.
( I slept with a .45 Auto in hand under my pillow, cocked, finger on the trigger, and thumb on the safety. It was with me 24-7, untill I replaced it with a Browning P-35
( Hi Power)

Almost every outting involved practice with one or more weapons.

Every camping trip ( Private land) was like an intense survival course for my children.
..such as showing my son how to make animal traps, ..then how to extrapulate to man-size traps...summer, fall, winter, and spring.

I never took my children anywhere they would be out of sight...

....well I justified my insanity( PTSD Symptomology by thinking ...even here in america...there are insane ax murders!
...or other dangers ...yeh, all part of
"Fear without reason to fear "

I can recomend a good book
by, David grossman
"On Killing"; 'The Cost of Learning To Kill In War and Society'
I was wasting time in a bookstore and say the title and thought, Something I know about?
I took a look at it then bought it.
I got it home and read the whole thing in one sitting, then reread it, The next day I drove 30 miles back to the store and bought the last two copies.

Patrick, my first thought after, even before I finished the book was, This is "like" he(Grossman) has taken a walking tour around
the inside of my mind, and wrote wery well about what he saw ! REALLY.

Note; David Grossman taught Psycology at
the USMA ( United States Military Acadamy-
West Point )

I have talked to him a number of times
about his book and he was very helpful

There are a LOT of books on PTSD,
but Davids deals with the psycological
side of ...doing the deed.

You might want to google it
On Killing or David Grossman
http://www.google.com

Song Ben Hai Ma
( River Ben Hai Ghost )
RVN DMZ 02 APRI,69 to 20 Oct, 1970
Field Artillery Target Acquisition Specialist
http://www.geocities.com/Song_Ben_Hai_Ma/GHOST.html

quote:

Originally posted by patrickdanielperez:

quote:

Originally posted by OldAFcop:

quote:

Maybe I can write more later.

Feel free to write what you want and visit often.

You are always welcome here.

Thank You, Sir Old, well for the first time I read the article about ASD. I have been thinking for a day or so if that is me a lil. I have been diagnosed by The God Sent VA in Meno Park and Palo Alto. But, I don't want to talk of that. I was diagnosed by many doctors outside the VA too. It was here that I first read about ptsd and asd. I am not going to diagnose myself. I don't like boxing. I understand the complicated diagnosis of the Doctors though. In the end I am sane, Sigh, but the study is on how I got to be from what I experienced. I got lots of help from community and family but the VA IS the CALVARY. Still I am thinking can one be sane and still have ptsd or asd? Am I gonna fit in with society? How? How do I keep myself from sticking out? I only so far feel emotion in Laughter or empathy. The other thing is if my life is threatened I will do as my military trained me. I know right from wrong and morals. I was raised well. I am a man who walks with his God in faith. I love people and animals and nature. HOOOO Well,don't worry I don't expect you to answer me. Ha, I do really appreciate you so much for letting me read myself here. God Blessed me again.
Patrick

One can be complete sane and still suffer the effects of PTSD or ASD. The difficulty is when we become numb and avoid social contacts.

In 1967 to 1968 i was in the Vietnam
jungle..That 120 degree hot jungle where
you could not even see the sun most days.
Ive burned off Leaches from my body with
ciggeretts,ive shot the enemy in close
combat and pulled wounded guys to saftey
under enemy fire. We called those battles
firefights and called the enemy "****s"...
we yelled at the enemy in Vietnamese "Dung
Lui" and "DiTi Mow" meaning Stop and come
here.On one occasion i passed out in the
hot 120 degree jungle from Malaria
not feeling the high fever,still pushing
on ,till my body gave out.I survived
over 11 months of various combat, walking
over dead ****s ,some Americans and countless
body parts fresh and old, stinking,moggot
and fly infested....sounds sickening but
when your there ,somehow you get used to it.
In the end of 1968 i returned to the states
and felt strange,knowing i remained
with problems..Walking in the street i was
looking for ****s ..i tried to forget ,but
when ever i saw an asian face ,i had flashbacks
and i had frighteing combat dreams .I would be
walking down the street and hear a noise ,like
a car backfiring and i automatically went
down to the ground like i did in combat..
this went on for many years ,but abated
slighty more and more over the years.I
realized after many years that i had developded
symtoms i had to deal with ,mainly isolating
myself and having a fear of crowds and other
feelings of being differnt .There
was important personality changes that took place
that bothered me badly and i could not to this
day ever shake those mind problems off.It was
after more than 30 years later ,someone told me
to seek help from the VA as i was entitled to
medical and or phycological treatments to help
my sleeping problem and night dreams that
my wife admitted has scared her and awoke
her many times over the 30 years together.
Finally and with trepidation i went to seek
help at the VA.Walking around the VA to find
various offices and sections ,in itself
for some reason set off memories of combat
and made me feel nervous and shakey....some
one said to me that day ,i should never
feel lonely or scared at the VA as this place
is here for me and its the safest and friendliest
place i could be in.....i went to the Md,s and
head docs as the VA from time to time had me
come back to those appointments.The shrinks
asked me serious combat questions that put
me back to places i didnt want to go back to.
The experience was hurtful and i cried
like a kid and was very embarrassed and
confused when they finished with me.They
wanted me to join a group therapy every
so often to discuss my frightening combat
past ,and that over time i would get
more immune to bad past thaughts.
Going back to discuss my frieghtening
past and thinking of listening to
other veterans horrific combat past
was to over baring for me and so i chose
medication and staying away from the VA
as a way to cope on my own....i was
diagnosed with life long PTSD....not
a surprise once i found out what PTSD
was.....living with it ,is a bit more
bareable after reading about it,but sad
to me that i can never shake it off.There
have been times recently walking in mid
manhattan on a hot day near construction,when
i hear the popping noise of nails being shot
from nail guns and i instantly saw and felt
green heavy jungle under combat fire.I went
into a cold sweat and had a scared panic
feeling for several blocks.I walked over to
a meter pole and held on to it, for a couple
of minutes while closing my eyes....i told
my self it was a day dream and finally
the panic sick feeling slowly passed.I still
did not make my destination and felt happier
just getting back to my car where i felt
more secure and safe .Those type of scary
panic events only happen when several
triggering climates or noises happen
at the same time ....not very often
but its a very horrific episode to go
through when it does.What i notice most
over all those years ,is that i do better
in the winter months and am worse much more
so with PTSD symptoms in the hot summer
months.....does anyone reading this seem
to feel that there PTSD is worse over the
hot summer ? Writing this stuff in this
way seems to be some release to me, i get
these occasions, when i feel a need to vent.
Thanks for this opportunity to let me vent.
I appologise to anyone to whome my writing
mmay bring fourth bad memories........
Sincerely HS

quote:

PTSD symptoms in the hot summer
months.....does anyone reading this seem
to feel that there PTSD is worse over the
hot summer ? Writing this stuff in this
way seems to be some release to me, i get
these occasions, when i feel a need to vent.
Thanks for this opportunity to let me vent.
I appologise to anyone to whome my writing
mmay bring fourth bad memories........
Sincerely HS

Hello Harold,

Yes, I have many of the same issues. I find that sometimes, when walking in a wooded area, I have the same "jungle" feelings that creep me out. So, in short, yes others have similar feeling at times. You have my best wishes for continued strength in the ongoing fight with PTSD!

My best to you & yours,

Dick Tracy

Old, I have to say open discussion myself, its a chance for all to join in, no matter the problems they faced or what war, or cicumstance..

I write to vent, to release and to relax, helps me keep my sanity. Eases the depression some to...

New things keep popping up and I write to keep them in perspective..

JMHO... if a civilians input is wanted or allowed.

Thanks

All opinions are welcomed here!

Hi everyone! Now that my computer is working, I am finding all sorts of things! Do you guys allow us females ? I got my PTSD from four different events and had to pick the worst for my claim. The four events were in order: race riot on base, being pulled out of bed and questioned by five men for five hours( treated as a POW), MST and combat training( war games). Sally

Glad to hear that you are back online!

I am hanging in! Alot of things happened yesterday, Oct. 1 that pushed my stress buttons! Two dogs came on our front yard off leash when Benny( my dog) decided to go out at 6:30am. I always put Benny on leash before letting him out! Anyway, it was a barking contest and me yelling at the other dog owner to control her dog. I pulled Benny back inside until the other dogs left. It was payday!!! The bank put a hold on my card because of "strange activity". They thought that someone was using my card! There was a fraud alert that went off. So, after talking to three people, I got use of my money back. Then the mail came. In it was notice of a court hearing on the 21Oct. regarding Mary Ellen's guardianship being made without end and use of her money to pay bills for guardianship, legal fees and more. After, I had gotten through 4 pages , I decided to contact an attorney to represent Mary Ellen and myself in court. Last time that I stepped foot in court, I had a heart attack and a major panic attack. The panic attack was me yelling, crying, and slamming doors. I left the court room before I hit someone! I am taking my meds. Mike makes sure that I eat and drink( not booze). I sent my paperwork to Daniel for my Agent Orange claim. When I get like this I tend to isolate. Mary Ellen is having health problems and has been on bedrest about a month now. My computer is working so I have my "lifeline". Sally

Hang in there...it's a tough siuation but we all all to get through it together.

I DID CONVOYS AND RECOVERY MISSIONS IN IRAQ AS A CIVILIAN AND HAVE PTSD. AM I WELCOME HERE?

Sure people are able to post here. It's a great place to post where there is no one is around. All are welcome here.