quote:

C130avatrix: "He just smiles, hugs me and kisses my head."

Now that is a good partner!

Dave -- if you are rated IU, is that a perm/total rating automatically? or what? I just had this question, but my VSO takes off Fridays, so I can't ask him! :-p

He said if they don't reject the reduction at my hearing on the 23rd (which everyone agrees they probably should) he will go to IU, as it's clear medically, and with the verification of having SSDI that I can't work. If I understand correctly, in that event it would be most likely 70% with 30% IU. But I hear conflicting things, so I'm not sure.

quote:

Originally posted by c130aviatrix:
or for who so much time has gone by, as to make proving a stressor(s) or proving the effect the veteran suffers is from the stressor that occurred 40+ years ago, but never got addressed, that they can't get an award in ANY amount.. let alone one to appeal...

I knew 'bush Vets' that would rather die than go after VA benefits......and they did.

If any Vets like this are still alive, changed their mind, and crawl out of the woods to seek VA benefits(treatment and compensation)...I could understand the forty year delay.

However, some Nam Vets are that are retiring,.. are now initiating claims for PTSD after living healthy, productive lives for forty years.
I do not know what is in their head, or what suffering they experience, because they won't talk much about PTSD. And I am not one to judge.
I do know that these Vets thAT I know of,.. will live out their years with a pension check, a social security check, and a PTSD comp check ...and seemingly, relatively good health.
Flash

i'm 30% ,and i know i need help , i have tried

what i was meaning, was vets, who have struggled for 40 years, (since they were discharged after serving in Viet Nam for example) and been trying unsuccessfully to get a claim approved by the VA, because the lack of accurate records, or losing touch with buddies that can verify... Not because they worked for 30 years, and now just want to add to their retirement... that's what I was meaning by that.

I believe, that the amount of veterans out there suffering with PTSD and other related disorders, and maladies that are honest is greater than those who are milking it, or flat out lying... but those FEW who are, make it that much harder for those with legitimate claims to get approved, or rated appropriately.

jaz, i do truly believe you are needing help. I can 'feel' you're struggles. I can't explain it, but I've always had good 'intuition' and can feel things from people.

Jaz,
I know you deserve an increase!
I certainly was not referring to you or anyone but a couple of Vets that I and others know, that we are suspicious of.

We could be dead wrong.

It's just that things aren't always what they seem.

quote:

Not because they worked for 30 years, and now just want to add to their retirement... that's what I was meaning by that.

Charlie,
Sorry for the misquote, I got carried away.
Flash

After reading it,I wish now I would have never posted that comment.

oh flashypoo -- you didn't say anything wrong. You're post was valid too -- I was just wanting to clairify what I was meaning.

There are people who do EXACTLY what you were saying. I've run into a few at the Women's Clinic.

But Flashypoo brings up such a good point. I would ASSUME that the VA looks at the past 40 years of employment, I sure know my C&P did. When one has not held a meaningful job or held one for more than a few months, I believe that counts bigtime. When one works another whole career after 'Nam quite successfully, it would be hard to award much of a percentage under the rules. Being on your third marriage and it has problems too should make a difference as well.
"Flashypoo", now that is cool!

I'm a Viet nam veteran and would like to respond to earlier post. I worked long after the war and didn't have a clue what PTSD was. I was to busy working. Never wondered why I had to get drunk to get any thing done or get high some how in order to create another personality to fit the ocations. Yep, if only someone would have told me.

quote:

Originally posted by 8350393:
I'm a Viet nam veteran and would like to respond to earlier post. I worked long after the war and didn't have a clue what PTSD was. I was to busy working. Never wondered why I had to get drunk to get any thing done or get high some how in order to create another personality to fit the ocations. Yep, if only someone would have told me.

Now you know.

It's not too late to seek treatment or file a claim.
We have Vets in my group that are in their 60's and are just starting in the system after living a life similiar to yours.

I too, had many personalities to fit the situation. I knew the real me didn't fit in society because I tried for ten tears to make it, only to fail and lose everything. In 1987 I had to go in the VA system because of my physical health, and I had no insurance.
It was then and there that I learned of PTSD and treatment, and encouraged to pursue it.

Multiple Women, multiple jobs, alchohol, drugs, 20 yrs of untreated PTSD have left a mark on me that can't be erased. I'm lucky to be alive.
Flash

Flashypoo?

I dig it!

Flash, back in Aug, of 2005 when I was about to quit and tell the world to kiss my glass, a nurse and the VA help me out. I have been awarded 50% ptsd. Even though I haven't recieved a penny cause of a incompetence issue, I'am being treated and taking ptsd related classes through our VA mental health dept. Things are better. But It'll never be what I wish for. Thanks for you understanding.

i was medivated out of nam in 68,for too much incoming, and crawling out of a burning bunker given up for dead , but surving, had 1 month left in nam, got to hospital in states,had 1 month left in service did not find medical records till 3 years ago , could never go to va for help ,after all they turned me awy 38 years ago. wife is what kept me going , married one month before i went over. i fill for every vet .i know what they have gone through. i.ve lived it for 40 years all in side of me never telling anyone , until the breakdowns and the body pains from them now memory, ibs denied , have diabetes have not claimed. suffering all these years and yes i got 30% for my effort to survive. semper fi johnnie sorry

jaz, your situation is the type i refer to when i say vets who were unable for 40 years to get a claim with the VA due to missing medical records, combat records etc etc.

I know for a fact, that as our lives slow down, either because of losing jobs, or changing jobs, or nearing retirement age and kids leaving home, is when the PTSD and related issues can get worse, and usually do.

You are rated 30% for NOW... maybe you'll get a higher award later on... as they see how your condition progresses. But for now, as you're working and and socializing, that's what they are basing it on... sucks... for 40 years you HAD to find a way to support your family, and did. You had great support, a wife who has stood by you and encouraged you.

Be thankful for that! I'm thankful I've got my hubby, who is the calm where I am stressed... sometimes it seems that's all I've got!

Uh did you forget me Flashypoo? Some are starting in their 70's!

quote:

Originally posted by Flash69:

quote:

Originally posted by 8350393:
I'm a Viet nam veteran and would like to respond to earlier post. I worked long after the war and didn't have a clue what PTSD was. I was to busy working. Never wondered why I had to get drunk to get any thing done or get high some how in order to create another personality to fit the ocations. Yep, if only someone would have told me.

Now you know.

It's not too late to seek treatment or file a claim.
We have Vets in my group that are in their 60's and are just starting in the system after living a life similiar to yours.

I too, had many personalities to fit the situation. I knew the real me didn't fit in society because I tried for ten tears to make it, only to fail and lose everything. In 1987 I had to go in the VA system because of my physical health, and I had no insurance.
It was then and there that I learned of PTSD and treatment, and encouraged to pursue it.

Multiple Women, multiple jobs, alchohol, drugs, 20 yrs of untreated PTSD have left a mark on me that can't be erased. I'm lucky to be alive.
Flash

I went from job to unemployment, to job and unemployment over and over until I finally managed to last at one job for ten years. During my C&P exam the Doc asked how I lasted there so long. Fact was, the person who was my boss died, the next one died and so on until 5 had died in about 7 years. Then a woman who had been hired with me as an artist became the boss. She let me do pretty much what I wanted to do. Things were great for a couple of years, until they brought in a "real" boss type boss.

I couldn't cope with him. I finally had a complete breakdown caused by him and his repeated questioning of me being a Vietnam Vet, and telling me I had to be more "flexible".

His flexible to me meant being crooked and a cheat. I saw things very black and white.

I got canned from that job, and after that I had over 30 jobs in about 5 years. It was awful. I was always the "new guy". and the one who didn't last. I got resentful, and anger took over my attitude. I couldn't cope with being told what to do at all. The pressure I felt if I was 1 minute late could ruin my day. I'd lash out at anyone who disagreed with me, often times with very senior people who didn't like being talked to the way I did it.

I started making mistakes, couldn't follow directions, couldn't remember what I had been told.

After being laid off one more time, I made a comment that my employers thought was a bomb threat, and had the police come to investigate me.

I couldn't work. My house was in foreclosure. I Couldn't take the rejection of bad interviews and the worthlessness I was feeling. At the same time my wife left me because of my rages and conduct. Holes punched in the walls and rocks thrown at her car as she drove away to feel safe showed how bad I was getting.

I was talked into going to the VA. I started getting therapy, and I became somewhat rational. I didn't work for over a year, couldn't get up, couldn't deal with people. Actually, I have never returned to work. I didn't care. Life could have ended for me right then and I wouldn't have cared one bit.

I know I can't work now. I still flare up when things strike me the wrong way. I don't like people, and prefer to stay in my bedroom and watch TV and read.

When I saw my C&P notes, I cried. I never knew I was that bad. It was even worse than I am saying here. I was ashamed of myself. I didn't know where to turn or what to do. I felt like a failure, and was. I disliked myself, and pushed people away from me who still cared. After years of self medicating, I was circling the bowl so to speak.

It's been 9 years now since I first went to the VA. My wife is back. I filed bankruptcy and took 6 years to pay back my debts. We managed to keep our small home.

I am better now, but I have good days and bad days. I'm much better than 9 years ago, but hardly where I'd like to be.

PTSD has had its way with me. I know the circumstances of my war service led to my breakdown, drug use and drinking. I never fit in again.

My main social contact these days is these forums, where I can be among people who don't judge me, and understand me.

Sometimes I may seem to have it together pretty well, but let me tell you, it was and is a fight every day to stay together.

For any of you that are going through any of this I know how much it sucks. All you can do is take it day by day and try hard to get better, to make improvements.

Sometime in all that mess you see the light at the end of the tunnel, and you know you are getting better. It'll never be perfect, but just the fact that I still want to live is a blessing.

I only bring this up to show people just beginning this process of getting well, that it's not an easy road. It is real, and you need to fight for all the help you can get. Don't let the VA system knock you down. It can seem overpowering sometimes, but we bring a lot of the problems with us.

All this talk of do we or don't we deserve benefits makes me laugh. Tell me how much it should be worth to live the way I have lived the past 40 years?

oh my gosh bill, i think you are in my head!?!?!?

I'm a live and let live person. Always have been... as I've gotten older, I've become even more that way... but since the PTSD, I've become very rigid in things about myself.

My counselor and I have one major goal right now -- to be easy on myself. Quit beating myself up, and judging myself. That is the hardest thing. It's bad when other people judge us, but when we try to force ourselves to be 'normal', and then beat ourselves up for the crazy way we think/react to things, that's what's the worst. I like the statement you made about how you felt so pressured if you were even 1 minute late for your job it could ruin your whole day -- ME TOO!!!!

It seems to me, that the very things that made us good military people.. the dedication, the attention to detail, the discipline, the self-control, etc etc, are now the very things that are making coping iwth our stressors, and healing from PTSD so very difficult.

Maybe that is why, there is such an influx of PTSD in the military. Not because we are 'fakers' as some would like to claim, not because we are 'broken', but because the very personalities, that make us so efficient at our jobs as soldiers, airman, sailors, marines etc, are the very things that make us prone to this type of 'disorder'.

Let's face facts, there is a certain type of person that both is drawn to, and successful at the military lifestyle, and those types of occupations... type A people, people who pride themselves on their ability to be successful at whatever they do, and 'make it work'. People who can find new and innovative ways to handle stressful situations.

PTSD is a very efficient way of handling continued stress. Eventually your body, and mind decides, instead of having to build up it's defenses to the perceived continued threat, lets just stay that way indefinately... so by the time the stressro is over, our body is ready and waiting for the next thing to occur so it's in that mode already... efficiently. it matters not that the next 'sressor' may be the loss of a job, or family stress, or whathave you....

I'm interested in healing my mind and body, to find some sort of the way I used to be... where I was able to have fun, do simple things like go get the mail, mow the lawn, wave at the neighbor, go to work... to me it's not about deserving compensation... it's about needeing it to help me get back more of who I was, so that maybe one day, I won't need it... I just want to be me again... not this me I've become, so foreign from the girl who earned a commercial multi-engine instrument rating in less than 2 weeks...

Anyway... good post bill..