When my husband retires from the military, is there anything the wife should do for him? Give a party? Buy him something? Or does his unit do that?
Best thing you can do as a spouse is to have the patience of an oyster.
The Government spends millions of dollars to make a millitary person into a lean-mean killing machine but spends almost nothing in the process of preparing a person to readapt back into civilian life.
Your husband will have some "interesting" experiences during the period of transition following retirement. The best thing you can do is to be understanding and not take things he might say or do overly personally. Chances are good that he will adapt to his new environment.
Keep the avenues of communication open between you and your husband and your children (if you have any). The worst thing you all can do is to keep your feelings pent up. The transition between active duty and post-Coast Guard life involves not only your husband but ALL family members.
Finally, consider the words of the philosopher Nitze, "that which does not kill us makes us stronger".
Children11, do you currently have a job? One thing I've seen with a couple of friends - their wives ended up as breadwinners for extended periods of time.
Unless your husband is walking into a civilain version of his job there's a sad, but real, chance he'll lose his first job. And his second. You're going to have to bite your tongue as he goes through a mini-depression.
For at least 20 years, he's known exactly what is expected of him, every day. He knew a certain set of rules and regs; what to wear and how to wear it. What he could or couldn't say, and to whom.
He's going into a new situation where his work ethic, devotion to duty, reliability and knowledge are valued. However, the civvie world doesn't have the rules and regs, chain of command and standard of behavior that's second nature to him. Sometimes that freedom he desired will bite him in the butt.
I'm sorry that this is a negative response, but you really do need to be prepared.
"When my husband retires from the Coast Guard, is there anything I should do for him?"
Attend the ceremony! I have seen too many retirements where the wife did not bother to attend.
"Give a party?"
The Coast Guard should take care of the ceremony but the retirement party is something that he will apprecate from you!
"Buy him something? "
Gifts given from the heart are always apprecated! When I retired I did not expect a gift from my wife but she surprised me with one and I thought it was very nice of her!
"Or does his unit do that?"
The unit should take care of the ceremony and sometimes they hold a small reception after it. An actual party would be the resposibility of the retiree or his family. Most units will also give a "gift" to the retiree but that is not always the case. There should be someone at the unit assigned to be in charge of the retirement, talk with them to coordinate your efforts to make the day special for your husband AND yourself.
children11, In answer to your question, there is really nothing in concrete about what you should do for your husbands retirement. Retirements vary as much as the personalities of your children do. I would suggest that you talk to him and see what he wants to do. As far as retirement gifts go, it also falls into that same category. Sometimes the unit will have a party and give a retirement gift, and sometimes not. When I retired my wife had a party set up for my crew, friends and family. It was great. But I would talk with him and see what he wants. As far as life after retirement, it also varies with the individual. It's not always as bleak as some of the other posts might suggest. Some people take to it like a duck takes to water. So don't run right out and jump off a bridge. As stated before, the important thing is to maintain a good line of communications with your husband and support him in civilian life just as you have done with his military life. Good luck, and CONGRATULATIONS. Dave
Thank you all. I currently have 3 part time jobs. My husband retires next year and is making Chief (hopefully this year). When he gets out, he would have done 30 years in the Coast Guard. This is the only job that he's ever known. Thanks for the heads up on what the after military life might be like.
Originally posted by Children11: Thank you all. I currently have 3 part time jobs. My husband retires next year and is making Chief (hopefully this year). When he gets out, he would have done 30 years in the Coast Guard. This is the only job that he's ever known. Thanks for the heads up on what the after military life might be like.
There is more holes in this story than in the titanic.
Am i the only one here wondering how a fella retires as a E7 just after making chief and has 30 yrs in
HYT is 22 yrs for 1st except fs which 23 yrs i believe..anyway good luck to you.
My husband's chief spoke to the person in charge (I think my husband said he's in charge of enlistments). He said that as long as my husband makes chief before he retires (which he will) and does 31 days of credable service (which he should), then he can retire as a chief with chief pay. He falls under the "grandfather claus". My husband enlisted before 1980.
My husband also said it's in the personel manual. It's in the Coast Guard Personnel Manual 12.C.15.g titled Procedure to Certify Highest Grade or Rate on Retirement.
Interesting...I am by no means the expert on this, but normally when a member is up for advancement to Chief, he/she has to obligate 2 years of service from the date of advancement. Does he already have an approved retirement? Or is he being forced to retire at 30 years?
EPM is holding fast to the HYT at 30 for all paygrades...unless, and the provision was already in the PERSMAN that if a MCPO was "already" in a Gold Badge position that they could go past the HYT for as long as they were "continued" in that capacity, either with the same principal or selected by another.
Originally posted by magic8ball: Patience of an oyster?? That's a new one!
Children11, do you currently have a job? One thing I've seen with a couple of friends - their wives ended up as breadwinners for extended periods of time.
Unless your husband is walking into a civilain version of his job there's a sad, but real, chance he'll lose his first job. And his second. You're going to have to bite your tongue as he goes through a mini-depression.
For at least 20 years, he's known exactly what is expected of him, every day. He knew a certain set of rules and regs; what to wear and how to wear it. What he could or couldn't say, and to whom.
He's going into a new situation where his work ethic, devotion to duty, reliability and knowledge are valued. However, the civvie world doesn't have the rules and regs, chain of command and standard of behavior that's second nature to him. Sometimes that freedom he desired will bite him in the butt.
I'm sorry that this is a negative response, but you really do need to be prepared.
What the heck are you talking about? Why would he lose his job? There are plenty of agencies who would be more than happy to hire him. Just because something happened to you, or someone you know, that doesnt mean its standard operating procedure for the rest of the world. I had no problem what so ever finding a job, and one that pays three times what I made in the military.
There is more holes in this story than in the titanic.
