You might be in the Coast Guard if you wake up on a cold February morning and make your own SOS.
. . .if you smile and sing along whenever you hear "Friends in Low Places."

You might be in the Old Guard if you brought home the largest pair of drawers from Hogger night (Proud Mary Era).

. . .if the CO SENDS you down to the Club to order a round for all 'cause he's running late, then buys another when he gets there!

. . .if you participated in the Pirate Wars.

. . .if Dan Kelliher owns your unit!

BTW my kids were born in two different states on one tour (HQ), I'm STILL finding those stickers on the back of things and T, that cop stop had me crying I was laughing so hard!

. . .if you played Softball on the Polo fields at GI

Your response to certain occurrences is "WTF over."

If you played beer baseball on Midway...

If you write angry, profanity-laced letters to the editor when a newspaper or magazine prints "The Armed Forces (Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force)" or "The four branches of the Armed Forces" or "The Armed Forces and Coast Guard".

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Come on man, this is a family oriented forum. T

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Damn good thing I retired years ago, after drinking and whoring my way all over the Far East.....

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Think they would have de-Warranted that one we knew that gave his wife a dose after returning from Nam?

So who's going to explain this to little Timmy?

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Originally posted by Anusaurus_Rex:

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Come on man, this is a family oriented forum. T

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Damn good thing I retired years ago, after drinking and whoring my way all over the Far East.....

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Think they would have de-Warranted that one we knew that gave his wife a dose after returning from Nam?

So who's going to explain this to little Timmy?

That would be me. Or you if you want to continue to assume the duties as tact moderator.

You might be in the Coast Guard if you have ever seen the words "an Ouija Board said" used in an official statement alledging wrongdoing. You might be out of the Coast Guard if it was enough for you to realize the CG and such nonsense wasnt for you.

You might be in the old(er) Coast Guard if you have even been pumping gas in your vehicle, in working blues, and had one guy walk up and ask if both islands are "full service", and another guy walk about 30 seconds later and ask if you "have an ATM inside".

You might be in the newer Coast Guard if that doesnt happen anymore.

You might be in the Coast Guard if during a trivial persuit game, your father in law answers "How many Armed Services are there?" with "4", and his daughter has been married to a guy in the 5th service for at least 8 years.

You might be in the Coast Guard if every Christmas, you receive a shot glass from your brother in law who is in the Marines, with the 5 services listed, but the lines reflecting consumption capacity always has your organization at the bottom of the glass.

You might be in the Coast Guard if you were ever asked to locate the keys to the sea chest.

You might be in the Coast Guard if during transit from Alaska to Hawaii on a ship, when told that you are officially 1000 miles from any point of land, you get sick wondering what happens if you get really sick that far out.

You might be in the Coast Guard if during your third week of boot camp, you get reverted so far back, there is no company for you to join because they havent arrived yet.

T

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Originally posted by Hooligan1790:
Your response to certain occurrences is "WTF over."

You got my number on that one

If the thickness of the paint and its tensile strength exceed that of the hull plating.

In 1972 I remember reading a message about a 40' UT that went down in CT somewhere due to failure of some hull plating. In the message were words to the effect of "despite the tensile strength and durability of the new two part Devron paints now being used on utility boats, standard hull inspections are encouraged." That is a no-****ter.

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Originally posted by Ex_CG_GM:
If you played beer baseball on Midway...

No but we played full court basketball, and drove golf balls on the MIDWAY...softball or baseball was a bit tough though, especially for an outfielders - a deep drive to the outfield, misjudged, could lead to a man overboard!

In December, 1972 while anchored off of Singapore, Bob Hope and company brought Lola Falana, Red Foxx, Les Brown and his Band of Reknown, and Roman Gabriel onboard MIDWAY for the USO Christmas Show...I was there!

At the time MIDWAY'S flight deck (in square area) was the biggest in the fleet. Bob's opening monologue began with: "Welcome to the USS MIDWAY, home of the world's largest floating crap game - and I mean "crap!" as he continued he said he had heard that the flight deck was so big that you could go over the hill and two days later you were still walking on the flight deck!" Meaningless trivia - but you know you are old school when your unit (regardless of the service) hosted Bob Hope's USO Tour...

You might have been on a 180 if it only takes you 2 min to eat your entire meal.

You might be in the CG if, while home on leave, you've ever accidently asked your mom to "pass the ****ing salt."

You might be in the CG if...
yell to the kids to change out the sh-t tickets when the toilet paper runs out.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: ROBWESTDC,

you where a red hat and yell at the family during a home fire drill.

your seven year old is sitting on the toilet claiming he's deploying a swimmer.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: ROBWESTDC,

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your seven year old is sitting on the toilet claiming he's deploying a swimmer.

That one KILLED me!!!! I never heard that in 24 years...THANKS!!!

I was going to comment on Dave's Ranch Oak, but cracked up on this one!!!!

You Might be in the Coast Guard if you hate it when your wife cooks CHICKEN for dinner

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Originally posted by ROBWESTDC:
your seven year old is sitting on the toilet claiming he's deploying a swimmer.

Or you say "here I sit azz cheeks flexing giving birth to another Ensign"

Cheers!

If your child refers to the boat or station as "where Daddy lives"

Members of other branches of the service visit your workspace and they shout, "Wow, I haven't seen one of these in 20 years!"

All of your sea stories start and end with the phrase "Keep in mind, we were drinking"

You might be in the coast guard if you serve a bowl of whilted and brown lettice with 4 cut up tomatoes and call it a salad

Duckcop, I still can't eat a meal at a normal pace.