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Basic Training
Picture of 2NSANE
Posted
Angry Spouse voices her thoughts, How did your Spouses feel about it?
http://www.congress.org/congressorg/bio/userletter/?id=...letter_id=1855197901

quote:
To:
First Lady Laura Bush

March 28, 2008

Dear Mrs. Bush,

I am a Coast Guard spouse in addition, I am also a USCG veteran. I am extremely proud of our active duty members and give them my full confidence, however, I must address Mrs. Tina Whyte's letter about her "deplorable" living conditions. I find her description vastly exaggerated and utterly devoid of any personal responsibility. It makes me sad that she believes that the United States Coast Guard does not take care of their own, which is wholly untrue. Her entitlement attitude is indicative of a common theme a lot of us USCG spouses are seeing run rampant throughout not only our service, but in the DOD as well.

Mrs. Whyte accuses the Coast Guard of not having any sort of support in place for spouses. She is sadly and grossly mistaken. I would have to say that close to 90% of all USCG units have an Ombudsman available to help Coast Guard families with a multitude of problems and can always point those spouses and members towards the appropriate resources that they may need. Not only do Ombudsman exist, but the USCG also employs a department known as Work-Life, which helps members as well as their families with counseling and various other support programs. Of course, we can unit Chaplians at some of the larger units, but each Sector has a CEA or Command Enlisted Advisor that can help too though they tend to be more for the USCg member than their family, but these CEAs are not without resources to pass on to the family.

The coast Guard, while much smaller than our four sister branches does have 2 very good online support forums chocked to the gills with mounds and mounds of information for just about every unit the USCG contains. www.coastiechicks.net and www.mycoastguard.com hold thousands of members that visit each day, many times a day to help those who need anything from a cyberhug or exchange phone numbers to have someone to talk to or provide vital information about housing, schools, job market, doctors offices, and grocery stores. My point is that there are various resources out in the world for Coast Guard members and their families, but they have to be willing to ask for help and USE these resources. The people and personnel that have made these programs and places to go for help have worked so very hard to make sure that they are providing what the member and their family needs and that their programs are effective.. Without this network, many spouses would be in the dark as to how the military functions from doing a DITY move or government move by yourself to how pay works. Many spouses don't even know how thier own healthcare system works. That is a tragedy, but one that is being actively confronted by spouses like myself who try to reach out to those dependant wives and husbands who are in the dark. I believe from Mrs. Whyte's letter that she is in a state of active ignorance and does not want to put forth the effort to make her life and her children's lives better. She wants everyone else in the world to do it for her.

When all is said and done, I do not for one nanosecond believe that Mrs. Whtye actively searched out help for any multitude of her financial problems. Cable TV is not a necessity, neither is having a two vehicle family. My husband is an E9 Master Chief Petty Officer, which took him 20 years to earn and we still have to watch every single penny we spend. We have had our roughly financial times, overcame those problems, sought help, and worked to make sure that those mistakes are never made again. It's called living within your means and making sure that you can provide for your family. Having a plan, budgeting, working to ensure a healthy home, and keeping your spending habits in check is the only way to succeed finanically in this world NO MATTER if you are a CEO of a Fortune 500 company or an E3 in the military with a wife and child/ren.

I hope Mrs. Whyte gets the help she so desperately needs, but it will only happen if she wants it badly enough.

Sincerely,
 
Posts: 219 | Registered: Sun 20 July 2003Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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Something Wicked This Way Comes
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Personal opinion, but this is a spouse who appears to be a little to nosey. It wasnt her concern, and she is sticking her nose in someone elses business, like many spouses seem to do.

Lets keep any replies to this rebuttal only!! Do not discuss the original letter or case.

T
 
Posts: 5089 | Registered: Sun 08 July 2001Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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Picture of JekelKat13
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I think it's her sticking up for all the other spouses that felt outrage. Spouses get negative slack and she wanted to make sure that to note that she is the majority and not the minority.

It's articulate and well written.
 
Posts: 582 | Registered: Thu 02 February 2006Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Discipline and structure set you free.
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T -
What I am hearing is that this CG spouse, and former Coastie, is saying that the original poster should have reached out and gotten some of the help we all know is available to us. I was the CSC for Group Boston for three years, for both the active duty and reserves. Anytime I received a call for help I took action, no different from any of my many peers. I too felt a little offended when someone so openly criticized and misrepresented our service. The original letter sounded very much like someone whose spouse has gotten into a lot of trouble and is blaming everyone but the persons most at fault. Her letter also seemed to imply she did not know the depth or breadth of the trouble her sposue got into. Trouble which generated the request to delete the first thread. Kudos to all who speak up for our service, and share their opinions on waht is good about us.
 
Posts: 548 | Registered: Fri 15 April 2005Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch
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quote:
Personal opinion, but this is a spouse who appears to be a little to nosey. It wasnt her concern, and she is sticking her nose in someone elses business, like many spouses seem to do.


My opinion is she is pointing out that most CG spouses are different from the original whiner.
 
Posts: 6840 | Registered: Fri 09 February 2001Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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And when did she appoint herself the Coast Guards Ombudsman? The first lady has other things to worry about than this trivial BS. Anyone really believe she is reading any of this crap? Thats what aides are for.

I hear where you guys are coming from, just playing a little devils advocate here.

T
 
Posts: 5089 | Registered: Sun 08 July 2001Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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I'm going to say what my grandma told me when I got socks for X-mas when I was 6...

It's the thought that counts young lady!
 
Posts: 582 | Registered: Thu 02 February 2006Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by militia1:
Personal opinion, but this is a spouse who appears to be a little to nosey. It wasnt her concern, and she is sticking her nose in someone elses business, like many spouses seem to do.

Lets keep any replies to this rebuttal only!! Do not discuss the original letter or case.

T


Are you f*cking serious? A spouse writes a letter and, basically, sticks up for the CG and you call her nosey? So, it must also be your opinion that the original letter and/or author is right in her opinions of the CG. Wouldn't you rather have a spouse respond with the resources she did to show that the original letter was bull5hit. Don't you think that would carry more weight than some CG member writing a letter since the original author doesn't seem to like too many CG members? I'll take my 10 days in the sin bin if need be, but that has to be one of the most ignorant and f#cking ridiculous posts I have ever read here.
 
Posts: 1337 | Registered: Tue 02 March 2004Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by shua_b:
quote:
Originally posted by militia1:
Personal opinion, but this is a spouse who appears to be a little to nosey. It wasnt her concern, and she is sticking her nose in someone elses business, like many spouses seem to do.

Lets keep any replies to this rebuttal only!! Do not discuss the original letter or case.

T


Are you f*cking serious? A spouse writes a letter and, basically, sticks up for the CG and you call her nosey? So, it must also be your opinion that the original letter and/or author is right in her opinions of the CG. Wouldn't you rather have a spouse respond with the resources she did to show that the original letter was bull5hit. Don't you think that would carry more weight than some CG member writing a letter since the original author doesn't seem to like too many CG members? I'll take my 10 days in the sin bin if need be, but that has to be one of the most ignorant and f#cking ridiculous posts I have ever read here.


The most ignorant and ****ing rediculous post is the one you just wrote. I never said I supported the origional letter, but I think it reflects immaturity and is quite childish to go around sending emails to the Whitehouse over someones private business.

No need to suspend anyone, you attacked the message and not me. Thats how its suppose to work.

T
 
Posts: 5089 | Registered: Sun 08 July 2001Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by militia1:
Are you f*cking serious? A spouse writes a letter and, basically, sticks up for the CG and you call her nosey? So, it must also be your opinion that the original letter and/or author is right in her opinions of the CG. Wouldn't you rather have a spouse respond with the resources she did to show that the original letter was bull5hit. Don't you think that would carry more weight than some CG member writing a letter since the original author doesn't seem to like too many CG members? I'll take my 10 days in the sin bin if need be, but that has to be one of the most ignorant and f#cking ridiculous posts I have ever read here.


The most ignorant and ****ing rediculous post is the one you just wrote. I never said I supported the origional letter, but I think it reflects immaturity and is quite childish to go around sending emails to the Whitehouse over someones private business.

No need to suspend anyone, you attacked the message and not me. Thats how its suppose to work.

T[/QUOTE]

I took the way that you wrote your response as a vote of support for the original letter.
Regardless, why didn't you address my questions?

I am assuming you are calling the original letter someones private business. Don't you think that their "private business" became public with the list of people it was sent to and then published on the internet? Regardless of who is actually reading it, the original letter was out there and now a rebuttal has been posted. I think it was a good thing and I hope that this letter gets as much dissemination as the original.

You also say that spouses stick their nose in other people's business. It seems to me like you have a sour taste in your mouth about spouses from past experiences. I give my wife a ton of 5hit for her involvement in the "network" as I call it, but if it wasn't for her support of my career, I wouldn't be able to do what I do. She is the one who takes on the roll of both parents to our children full time when I am gone. She is the glue that holds our household together. If it wasn't for what she does here my career wouldn't exist. As I am sure it is with a lot of CG families out there.
 
Posts: 1337 | Registered: Tue 02 March 2004Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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quote:
I never said I supported the origional letter, but I think it reflects immaturity and is quite childish to go around sending emails to the Whitehouse over someones private business.


She is writing a response to the original letter and sent it to the same place as the original letter. To me it is the same as responding to a letter to the editor in a newspaper. You send your opinion/response to the same place as the original letter.

All things stopped being a private matter when the first letter hit the web.
 
Posts: 2921 | Registered: Wed 27 September 2000Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
11/14/08: Member suspended 30 days for obscene posts.
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I think all them wives ought to STFU.
 
Posts: 3607 | Registered: Wed 06 April 2005Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Member
Posted Hide Post
quote:
Personal opinion, but this is a spouse who appears to be a little to nosey. It wasnt her concern, and she is sticking her nose in someone elses business, like many spouses seem to do.


Sounds like a personal attack on a person and not the message to me. Seems like it was only a couple of months ago when I was threatened with suspension for the same thing....hmmmmmmmmm.
 
Posts: 1992 | Registered: Tue 17 October 2000Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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Picture of shua_b
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quote:
Originally posted by SociallyAutistic:
I think all them wives ought to STFU.


Militia,
I apologize to you. The above is the most ignorant f#cking comment I have ever read here.
 
Posts: 1337 | Registered: Tue 02 March 2004Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by SociallyAutistic:
I think all them wives ought to STFU.


I'll speak for myself on this. I was with my wife prior to coming in the CG (81), we got married in 82. She knew she was also marrying the CG. I feel she's been paying her dues staying with me and the CG for the last 25-something years. She hung tough thru deployments, TAD's, PCS's, etc. The way I see it, I figure she's earned the right to say just about anything she wants. Cool
 
Posts: 1908 | Registered: Sat 12 January 2002Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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My wife and I met while I was still in the Army Reserve, and when I decided to enlist in the CG Reserve, I definitely consulted her. I enlisted just days after my son was born.

When it was time to go through my Chief's Initiation, she wrote a letter to the Chief's Mess that brought a tear to my eye. I never knew she felt that way.

Almost 25 years later, she still supports me with the commitment I made those years ago...

I never knew she felt that way about my CGR career.
 
Posts: 6815 | Registered: Tue 23 January 2001Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
11/14/08: Member suspended 30 days for obscene posts.
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BS flag. You think Coastie wives are the only ones who hang tough, support their husbands through long deployments and keep the home fires burning? I would even say the majority of functional family units act in this support manner. Certainly my wife of twenty years has acted in this manner, more so following my nomadic roaming about the planet, both in and out of service.

But let's turn this about for a minute. It has been made plainly clear to me, in no uncertain terms, that her career is hands-off to me. If she has a problem, she alone will deal with it. If something needs to be said or done administratively, she will handle it. My interference is not needed and will not be tolerated.

In return, she understands THERE WILL BE NO CALLS to my boss, no back-door messages, not even a frickin' surprise party. No letters to congressmen or oprah winfrey.

Frankly, I view it as a matter of respect and consideration from both married parties. So, to say spouses should STFU is certainly rude, but I think it gets the point across. Otherwise, stand by for the Law of Unintended Consequences to kick in ... which also goes for EAP programs, employee advocates and the like ... but that's another thread.
 
Posts: 3607 | Registered: Wed 06 April 2005Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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My wife was in the CG as was I when we married. She knew what she was getting into. Tried to explain to my daughter who married into the Navy...she is finally understanding after 8 years. My civilian job was as a city manager, calls at all hours, people stopping by in the middle of the night, etc.

It isn't just the military that has hardships, but regardless, we should honor our spouses and thank them because if not for them, a lot of us probably wouldn't have been as successful as we are. Cool
 
Posts: 1992 | Registered: Tue 17 October 2000Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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Militia1,
The second part of her first sentenace, " I am also a USCG veteran" Gives her the right to voice her opinion, or to be "nosey" as you put it.
 
Posts: 223 | Registered: Thu 02 February 2006Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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quote:
Militia1,
The second part of her first sentenace, " I am also a USCG veteran" Gives her the right to voice her opinion, or to be "nosey" as you put it.


I am a Coast Guard veteran too, and would never email anyone, much less the first lady, discussing another members finances, or their opinion. Being a CG veteran doesnt give her a "right" to do any such thing. Again, who appointed her to speak for the masses?

quote:
Sounds like a personal attack on a person and not the message to me. Seems like it was only a couple of months ago when I was threatened with suspension for the same thing....hmmmmmmmmm.


Walter

Is your sole purpose here to chase down every post I make looking to see how it might apply to some TOS violation? Find something productive to do with your time. There is so much to discuss in this world, and the only thing you can find is what I write.

T
 
Posts: 5089 | Registered: Sun 08 July 2001Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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