I only transfered twice with my former active duty spouse, but one of us were usually driving the bus. What that means is the other had to suck it up and take a little less desireable unit. We were offered units up to 6-8hrs driving time apart, but your mileage could vary depending on a variety of factors. ie. rates/ratings, area etc...
We decided that rolling the dice wasn't what we were looking for every 3-4 years so she got out, went to ROCI and I stayed.
Thanks for the responces, pretty much what I had expected. How is it supposed to work if members marry while they are already in different areas? Would the CG move one member to the other after they've gotten a replacement? There isnt much in manuals on the specifics of this sort if situation.
Yeah, there really is. Co-lo is an assignment concern and it comes up when one member or the other is tour complete, not when they file thier marriage license.
Dave; There was a little humor in that comment, you are not going to find those words. Basically, AOs normally don't transfer people until the advance out of grade (and normally onlt from E-6 to E-7) or they are tour complete. Further, they are not notified when you get married.
Now, for the good news! Recently, while at a unit visit, one OS asked to speak to me about this very situation. When I asked them what the AO told them, they replied "nothing, I haven't talked to them yet." One of them had orders later that day to a co-lo billet, but it was only becuase the AO had a 'hard to fill' billet in that area. It was a win-win, except that there was a good reason the bilet was hard to fill. The billet was not what I would call a carrer enhancing billet. The couple choose being close vice getting a billet that was benificial for each of them. Lesson: Work WITH the AOs and don't ask expect to have your cake and eat it too.
MC, Roger that, I dont think I'll be so lucky... I dont know of too many CONUS "hard to fill" billets for a SN. She probably has about 1.5 years left on her "A" school list and she's has already saying "I'll do anything even strike SK to get outta here" which I try and talk her out of every 15th of the Month (when the A-school list comes out.)
Would it be out of line for me to e-mail her AO? I believe she is a YN1. I've told her not to e-mail her AO directly b/c I dont believe a SN should be e-mailing his/her AO directly.
-Brechty-
Disclaimer- Nothing wrong with being an SK... that is just not the carreer path she REALLY wants.
It might be better to email Miss Walker, who could then collaborate with the non-rate AO. Remember the cake and eat it point? If I were you, I would be up front and say that YOU and HER would pay all relocation costs. I can't imagine she has too much stuff as an E-3. If you are already visiting, then you are paying for those trips anyways. Maybe also have your Chief call her command just to give them a heads up that you two are trying to find ways to co-locate that will not impact her command. (Probably do that first).
I'm not even a big fan of cake... but I get the point. She's been trying to work with her command but they have been (at most) not helpful at all. The best advice they could give here was "to get pregnant" Funny... but I couldnt believe that they would tell her that is the answer! blew my mind. I'll definately be working with my chief before I start e-mailing eveyone and their brothers! Thanks again
I've dealt with many active duty couples and the issue of planning where to go so you can be reasonably together, without sacrificing your careers. As your spouse or soon to be is still a non-rate, it may take more work, but as stated, not impossible if you work with the right people.
If the school wait is long, strike. Take out the books complete the courses and show the command that you're serious enough to make the effort. That's what most are looking for from a non-rate.
Make sure your choices of locations have plenty of choices for both ratings so there are options and advancement opportunities for both of you. The key is flexibility on your parts, and making sure the Command is diverse enough so you don't end up in the same Chain.
Many YNs working for me had spouses who were BMs or MKs. Eventually, you reach a point where one career has a better opportunity for advancement, or ship/shore rotations of duty will be needed. Both of you being in the same tour rotation makes things easier for AOs to coordinate transfers. One may have to extend or do another tour to get them in alignment.
Most of all, working with people well in advance will work best for everyone, no surprises. AOs are usually willing to work with people who have already done some legwork on their own and have realistic expectations. Have a Plan A, a Plan B and a Plan C. You never know what is really happening, even though there may appear to be a vacancy coming up at a unit. Remember there are two careers here, and speaking for each other to the other's AO isn't advisable. Explaining to your respective AOs will let them know of the situation, and they can work together once they have all the info from both of you.
If you both stay on active duty, make sure you evaluate your career paths and keep an eye on locations you may want to go to down the road and align yourselves to get there. Both of you planning and keeping the AOs apprised of any changes or wishes will help make things smoother. Make sure you talk to your Command Chiefs and seek out other active duty couples in same ratings and talk with them. Again, keep people aware of your intentions so they can assist if necessary. The Reserve component as an option if things get tight as you rise through the ranks.
I'm at Sector North Carolina and she is on the CGC Chase out of San Diego, CA. Good luck... My wife's detailer shot down everything... even when we offered "No Cost" Orders. I guess it'll be a while. Hopefully you have a better outcome.
whats worse is, we just found out she is pregnant. Her command has been giving her the runaround with her options to get co located. She is trying to strike BM, but they keep telling her that won't get her moved
Thats not good... The best advice her command gave us was to get her pregnant...b/c then she wouldnt be fit for sea duty and they'd have to taker her off the ship. But we're not going to do that... nothing wrong with kids or anything... I just don't want one right now. How far a long is she?
The term "whenever possible" has a host of meanings....
It could be due to funding issues It could be due to the departing unit's staffing It could be due to the receiving units staffing It could be due to unknown planned - projected projects and as always, It could be due to the "needs of the service" which are usually not visible to those in question... (in other words, it is the governments way of an excuse (usually a denial) with no explanation necessary or given.
I was in West Palm, FL and the wife was in VA. After her time came up they asked her to reenlist, she asked if she could transfer to be with me, they said nope. She said I get the same benefits either way and I get to be with my husband, NO thank you, I will get out. Oh well it is how it is sometime. Just remember, Needs of the Service comes first, and you weren't issued a wife or family in your seabag.
