quote:

The police won't do anything about her so he's pretty much on his own.

Why?

Enough police reports and they should be arresting her if they have ANY evidence of her vandalism. Why doesn't your friend file an OSC and get a restraining order? First time she violates it, automatic trip to the pokey. His employer can also file a complaint with the police.

quote:

The younger kids are the more expensive they are. One thousand dollars a month is not a lot for a child. My childcare bill is more than that. Add to it food, clothes, extra activities, medical expenses, list goes on. Children are very expensive.

I disagree. Other than childcare, younger children are much less expensive on a weekly basis.

You pay $1000 a month for childcare? Because if you do, you are being taken. Most medical expenses are covered by insurance. Whoever carries the primary policy can add their child and the other parent can also add them as a backup. Most deductables are split by the parents. Yes, children can be expensive, but being spoiled is the rule of today's world....not just having the neccessities. Too many parents are also lazier today than they were 30 years ago. So they cry for more money to ply more crap on their kids so they aren't such a bother.

I firmly believe custodial mother's should be compelled, by court order, to provide financial documentation for the where the child support gets spent. Likewise for dads.

quote:

I've heard of child support orders around $300,000k a year. I mean you know damn well that's bulls**t

If daddy is a multi-millionaire then $300,000 isn't unheard of as court ordered support. The children "must be maintained in the life they were accustomed to". Total BS reasoning by the courts, but still a multi-millionaire can well afford the bucks. The average man cannot.

It all comes down to...who has the biggest ba$tard for an attorney.

quote:

It IS his money. Even if they were still together, he doesn't have to pay for piano lessons, ballet, or whatever. Those things arent necessary. Oh and please don't compare a college education to tennis lessons.

Like I said why should a woman get tens of thousands of dollars a month in child support just because she slept with a millionaire.

Makes the women stoop to the level of digging in the trash for used condoms to impregnate themselves. Happened to a Detroit lion a few years ago. A maid broke into the hotel room he had with his girlfriend, dug into the trash, and tried to preg-up herself. When that didn't work she fabricated a rape case

This is hypocricy now, because how many times does a woman dig in the trash to find a "filled" condom and gets pregnant from what's inside the condom ??? How disgusting, but this is not normality. Normality is, too many man think they can have some fun, don't worry about birth control and start whining when they end up paying child support.

I agree with you that it is not always fair how high the payments are, but I still think that the responsibilty for the child stays the same. And I don't agree with you on having one set ammount regardless of income. Piano lessons and tennis or ballet might be luxery, but see it from a childs point of view - they don't see it as luxery, for them it's normal and they wont understand why it's over after mommy and daddy split up. Especially if daddy remarries and has other kids that are exactly doing those luxeries.

College education is not comparable with those luxeries, you are right, but 250 a month can not assure a college fund or tennis, or ballet or piano lessons, because with this little bit of money you can hardly feed a child.

quote:

Originally posted by IzzyBizzy:
For starters, most states have guidelines on how much a man or woman will pay. One child = 20%, 2 children = 25% and 3 children = 33%. Some states vary in the percentages.

Depending on the needs of a child, $250 as earlier stated is not going to cut it. If the mother works, she pays child care expenses, extra transportation costs and "supplies" that most day care places require now.

However, the custodial parent also bears equal responsibility in providing shelter, food, clothing, etc.

Too many men skate on their financial responsibility when it comes to their children post divorce. I think it's called "deadbeat dads". Likewise, a LOT of women abuse the system and bleed a man dry.....average men, not multi-millionaire types.

The system was bad in the 70's and basically got worse.

I HAVE A BROTHER WHOS X IS ABOUT TWENTY YEARS BEHIND IN CHILD SUPPORT AND THE STATE OF FLORIDA DOES NOTHING..TURN THAT AROUND AND MY BROTHER WOULD BE IN JAIL LONG TIME AGO .. THE DIVORCE, CUSTODY, AND CHILD SUPPORT LAWS SUCK PERIOD. THE MAN IS A MONEY PIT FOR THE ****** AND HAS NO SAY IF THE CHILD IS BORN OR ABORTED..JUST PAY PAY PAY

I notice the assumption here is that dads pay child support -- seems we all KNOW how th courts work and that institutional sexism is alive and well and females have the upper hand in contested custody battles.

It's time that discrimination against men ends. In much of Europe if abuse or neglect were not an issue in the end f a marriage then the assumption is that the parents will establish joint custody. In that way women can't just milk the system and their ex as well. We could learn a few things from Europe.

I've always thought it should be the person who walks out on the marriage to pay child support. Granted they didn't walk out due to abuse and or infedelity. Too many times one has 'found someone else'.... and b/c they've found another... the whole family has to suffer. Those are the types that should automatically pay, but that's just my ole crazy OP. If they want to be selfish let them pay the consequences.

I've also had disagreements with my friends over child support. I personally don't see how a 3yro needs $500 a month(x2 or 3 if they have other kids). It does not cost that much a month to feed them,and clothe them, especially if you buy the childs clothes at the beginning of each season. Yes if you figure in daycare I can see how it can get costly, but in the cases I know of personally, they either receive free or reduced child care.

I have a gf who right now just recently divorced, her hubby sees them every other weekend, she's getting food stamps and living w/ her parents , yet he has to pay close to 2g's a month. None of them are in daycare. It almost calculates to where nothing is coming out of her pocket. Granted she's with them 24/7 (unless the're in school) but you can't put a price tag on spending time/living w/ your kids.

If our marriage ever failed, I'd just stay miserable till all the kids left. Too much time away from them, and too many probs that follow lol!

quote:

Originally posted by Opalfire:
It's quite simple. Stop making babies. I don't care how wonderful she was in the beginning, relationships shouldn't start off by having babies. My brother's have never made babies, both in the military. Use a condom or abstain. How hard is that? Mmmmmmm that doesn't sound too good does it LOL. I have no sympathy for guys who impregnate girlfriends etc. You make a baby, it is your responsibility. What is sad, some guys have made many with different women.

Good point. I was hitting it from the marital perspective,but you, the single perspective, and I couldn't agree more.

quote:

Originally posted by IzzyBizzy:

quote:

The younger kids are the more expensive they are. One thousand dollars a month is not a lot for a child. My childcare bill is more than that. Add to it food, clothes, extra activities, medical expenses, list goes on. Children are very expensive.

I disagree. Other than childcare, younger children are much less expensive on a weekly basis.

You pay $1000 a month for childcare? Because if you do, you are being taken. Most medical expenses are covered by insurance. Whoever carries the primary policy can add their child and the other parent can also add them as a backup. Most deductables are split by the parents. Yes, children can be expensive, but being spoiled is the rule of today's world....not just having the neccessities. Too many parents are also lazier today than they were 30 years ago. So they cry for more money to ply more crap on their kids so they aren't such a bother.

Yes, I pay more than a thousand dollars a month. Two thousands actually, because I have two of them in C/C. The cheapest daycare around is 700-800 dollars a month for a child, and this is pretty lousy childcare, I would not put my kid through one of those. Once my oldest one goes to kindergarten, my childcare bill will be around 1200 $, that’s because my baby will move into after 18 month classroom, and I will only pay before and after school for my oldest. We do not qualify for any help from state, because we make too much money. Granted, we end up taking home less than someone who works for cash and gets reduced c/c.
Medical bills, since my husband is in the military our kids medical is almost free. Almost, because we are on standard. A friend of mine, who has regular insurance, that has these high deductibles and co-pays, ends up paying quite a bit for medical expenses out of pocket. And from my experience, may be because I always worked, my kids cost me more when they are babies, diapers, childcare for infants is outrageous and hard to find, constant check up appointments, baby food.

Oh, and as far as divorce and child support. IF we ever get a divorce, I want my husband take both of the kids, and I will pay child support. Or joint custody, if we can arrange somthing that would work for both of us. People don't realize how much harder it is on a parent that takes care of the kids and works, I mean even just the logistics of getting them to/from school/childcare, caring for them when they are sick, making sure they have meals to eat, and the house stays clean, taking them to activities and what not. And having a full time job. I am taking care of mine when myhusband is away, there is not enough hours in a day to do all the stuff that needs to be done for two small kids. I need to get that in writing, in case of a divorce my husband will take our kids, cats, and the fish too! And I will be a weekend momma.

What a crock of BS! Child support is a basic formula depending on how much ones makes, yes those you make more will pay more than those who make less for the obvious reasons.

And if you and your friend are more consumed with how much they pay this woman as oppose to her criminal activity...How surprising!

However if your friend is so concern about his child (yeah right), he should sue for custody than he could be that parent that she is not and she would be ordered to pay child support.

BTW, Welfare has been under reform no way is she getting a 1000.00 a month child support and a check from the government, especially since child support orders are funneled through the states they would know if she is on welfare...

Also for men out there you have girlfriends perhaps a condom or that 15 minute operation would help atleast cover his azz and not get caught up in this...

How ridiculous to think one does not have to pay to play irresponsibly..See a condom would have been the best option.

Other than that pay up or raise the children yourselves.

quote:

Originally posted by IzzyBizzy:

quote:

Why should there be a set amount regardless of income? Why should a child be a spoiled brat as long as big bucks daddy is still married to (or "involved with")mom but has to make due with the state determined minimum if daddy decides he wants a young, prettier wife?

Who the hell suggested THIS person in particular wanted a "young, prettier wife"? Sheeeesh!

-----------------------------
No one. But the OP stated the proposition that ALL child support should be limited to $xx regardless of the parents' respective incomes. So I'm looking at how that proposition will play out in some situations to see if the OP still thinks its a good idea.

quote:

I've also had disagreements with my friends over child support. I personally don't see how a 3yro needs $500 a month(x2 or 3 if they have other kids). It does not cost that much a month to feed them,and clothe them, especially if you buy the childs clothes at the beginning of each season. Yes if you figure in daycare I can see how it can get costly, but in the cases I know of personally, they either receive free or reduced child care.

Ok, here is where you are wrong: Be a single mom with 2 children you need at least a 2 bedroom appartment, while your ex - now a single man - only needs one bedroom. Those are extra costs, every month. How much water, electricity and such is a houshold with 3 people using, compared to one with only one houshold member ?? Do you get where I am coming from ??

It is either use protection or pay child support. If you don't want to do neither one, raise the children yourself. Alot of men are complaining about having to pay child support, but when they are actually asked to raise the children themselves they come up with all kinds of excuses why it is "impossible" for them to do it.

quote:

Originally posted by FortesFortunaJuvat:
I thought about making a post about this after I read SW's thread. My friend has to pay a little over $1000 a month to his crazed ex girlfriend for child support. She has keyed his car, flatened his tires, showed up to our work, broke into his apartment... I mean the list goes on and on

The police won't do anything about her so he's pretty much on his own. She doesn't work (because she says she has to take care of her child ) she milks the government and him out of thousands just so she can sit on her *** like a worthless piece of ****.

The sad thing is that her mother takes care of her child, while she pockets every last cent of his child support order and showers herself with designer clothes and shoes. We know this because she has said that he's nothing more than a meal ticket.

There should be a set amount of how much a kid is worth no matter how much you make. It should also increase due to age.

If a child is 2, you should have to pay $250 a month at the maximum no matter if you make $1000 a month or $1,000,000 a month. Too many of these women look at child support as meal tickets just to spite their ex boyfriends or ex husbands.

I've heard of child support orders around $300,000k a year. I mean you know damn well that's bulls**t

If this story is true then your friend should document her actions and take the case to court to get custody, assumming of course he wants custody. Their are a minority of people who abuse the system but the most common problem is MEN not supporting their childern.

quote:

Originally posted by 120f12:

quote:

Originally posted by IzzyBizzy:
For starters, most states have guidelines on how much a man or woman will pay. One child = 20%, 2 children = 25% and 3 children = 33%. Some states vary in the percentages.

Depending on the needs of a child, $250 as earlier stated is not going to cut it. If the mother works, she pays child care expenses, extra transportation costs and "supplies" that most day care places require now.

However, the custodial parent also bears equal responsibility in providing shelter, food, clothing, etc.

Too many men skate on their financial responsibility when it comes to their children post divorce. I think it's called "deadbeat dads". Likewise, a LOT of women abuse the system and bleed a man dry.....average men, not multi-millionaire types.

The system was bad in the 70's and basically got worse.

I HAVE A BROTHER WHOS X IS ABOUT TWENTY YEARS BEHIND IN CHILD SUPPORT AND THE STATE OF FLORIDA DOES NOTHING..TURN THAT AROUND AND MY BROTHER WOULD BE IN JAIL LONG TIME AGO .. THE DIVORCE, CUSTODY, AND CHILD SUPPORT LAWS SUCK PERIOD. THE MAN IS A MONEY PIT FOR THE ****** AND HAS NO SAY IF THE CHILD IS BORN OR ABORTED..JUST PAY PAY PAY

States vary in enforcement but one BIG difference is that because it is USUALLY men who skip there are several women's groups that help what most people don't realise is that most of these groups will help a father go after a deadbeat mother as well since they are more concerned with the childern than with the sex of the custodial parent.

Hopefully the child did not inharit the stupid/lazy gene its mother clearly has.

quote:

Their are a minority of people who abuse the system but the most common problem is MEN not supporting their

...And then we wonder why the judges are partial to the mothers. Of course a judge awarding the children to a crackhead mom isn't too bright!

quote:

Originally posted by boughtwaprice:

quote:

Their are a minority of people who abuse the system but the most common problem is MEN not supporting their

...And then we wonder why the judges are partial to the mothers. Of course a judge awarding the children to a crackhead mom isn't too bright!

A judge that awards custody to a "crackhead mom" really isn't that bright, but how many times does this happen, compared to how many times do you have men that just refuse to support their children ???

Also there are women who don't pay their child support, this is true, but just like in the cases of men not paying, go to court and talk to the judges and something is going to eventually happen.

quote:

Originally posted by Pomelesk:
What a crock of BS! Child support is a basic formula depending on how much ones makes, yes those you make more will pay more than those who make less for the obvious reasons.

And if you and your friend are more consumed with how much they pay this woman as oppose to her criminal activity...How surprising!

However if your friend is so concern about his child (yeah right), he should sue for custody than he could be that parent that she is not and she would be ordered to pay child support.

BTW, Welfare has been under reform no way is she getting a 1000.00 a month child support and a check from the government, especially since child support orders are funneled through the states they would know if she is on welfare...

Also for men out there you have girlfriends perhaps a condom or that 15 minute operation would help atleast cover his azz and not get caught up in this...

How ridiculous to think one does not have to pay to play irresponsibly..See a condom would have been the best option.

Other than that pay up or raise the children yourselves.

In a nutshell...this is it.

It's a formula for every case. The parents are required to supply records of their income. The formula is then apportioned to each parent.

All the sideshow stuff is inconsequential. The children's best interest is what is being dealt with, not the parents grievances.

The custodial parent is not required to provide any detailed documentation to the non-custodial parent unless there is a specified order in the decree.
If your income varies up or down by 15%, a modified order can be requested.
When the children no longer require day care services, the non-custodial parent can request a modification. This would entail providing supporting documents of income from both parents. Usually, the custodial parent will provide justification why the order should stay in force.

And, piano, ballet lessons are not something that is routinely taken into account, but the custodial parent can provide this regardless of what the other parent thinks. I believe this cultural enhancement IS essential.
So screw you--you cheapskate.

The only real foot your friend has, is if the custodial parent restricts, prohibits, or denies the visitation that is proscribed in the decree. Courts usually take a dim view of this tact.

It also makes a difference in a custody case if your friend is the plaintiff, or defendant.

This is what happened to me. My ex started screwing with my ability to see my kids-we were not married. So, I filed for visitation, and support voluntarily. My attorney said he had never represented a man as a plaintiff in a support and visitation case. I came out with all my contentions ruled in my favor.

All these things should have been accounted for by the attorney before going to court.

quote:

Originally posted by undercoversister:

quote:

Originally posted by boughtwaprice:

quote:

Their are a minority of people who abuse the system but the most common problem is MEN not supporting their

...And then we wonder why the judges are partial to the mothers. Of course a judge awarding the children to a crackhead mom isn't too bright!

A judge that awards custody to a "crackhead mom" really isn't that bright, but how many times does this happen, compared to how many times do you have men that just refuse to support their children ???

Also there are women who don't pay their child support, this is true, but just like in the cases of men not paying, go to court and talk to the judges and something is going to eventually happen.

------------------------------------------------
You are correct their is millions owed to mothers for non-child support as oppose to women not supporting their children..

A crackhead (so to speak) is a non-issue because more than likely the child will be tested for drugs at birth if positive the child is not going home with the mother, also under Welfare Reform, you cannot test positive for drugs there is a 10 year suspension for such and if it is a ex-crackhead then family services will be involved for some time....

So true rarely does a crackhead or someone on illegal drugs will get custody, without family services intervention and being rehab, of course that would explain them being an ineffective parents, I wonder what excuses men use for not paying child support...

Perhaps men could be taken more seriously in the court if the majority of deadbeat parents weren't men.....

quote:

Originally posted by pickerfromhell:

quote:

Originally posted by Pomelesk:
What a crock of BS! Child support is a basic formula depending on how much ones makes, yes those you make more will pay more than those who make less for the obvious reasons.

And if you and your friend are more consumed with how much they pay this woman as oppose to her criminal activity...How surprising!

However if your friend is so concern about his child (yeah right), he should sue for custody than he could be that parent that she is not and she would be ordered to pay child support.

BTW, Welfare has been under reform no way is she getting a 1000.00 a month child support and a check from the government, especially since child support orders are funneled through the states they would know if she is on welfare...

Also for men out there you have girlfriends perhaps a condom or that 15 minute operation would help atleast cover his azz and not get caught up in this...

How ridiculous to think one does not have to pay to play irresponsibly..See a condom would have been the best option.

Other than that pay up or raise the children yourselves.

In a nutshell...this is it.

It's a formula for every case. The parents are required to supply records of their income. The formula is then apportioned to each parent.

All the sideshow stuff is inconsequential. The children's best interest is what is being dealt with, not the parents grievances.

The custodial parent is not required to provide any detailed documentation to the non-custodial parent unless there is a specified order in the decree.
If your income varies up or down by 15%, a modified order can be requested.
When the children no longer require day care services, the non-custodial parent can request a modification. This would entail providing supporting documents of income from both parents. Usually, the custodial parent will provide justification why the order should stay in force.

And, piano, ballet lessons are not something that is routinely taken into account, but the custodial parent can provide this regardless of what the other parent thinks. I believe this cultural enhancement IS essential.
So screw you--you cheapskate.

The only real foot your friend has, is if the custodial parent restricts, prohibits, or denies the visitation that is proscribed in the decree. Courts usually take a dim view of this tact.

It also makes a difference in a custody case if your friend is the plaintiff, or defendant.

This is what happened to me. My ex started screwing with my ability to see my kids-we were not married. So, I filed for visitation, and support voluntarily. My attorney said he had never represented a man as a plaintiff in a support and visitation case. I came out with all my contentions ruled in my favor.

All these things should have been accounted for by the attorney before going to court.

------------------------------------------------
Good for you! Contrary to the whining of some men, alot of men step up and fight for their rights and their children.

My husband's friend ex kept ignoring court order visitations and he called the police the police went to her home and told her if you do not turn those kids over to him now per the court order you will be arrested...She continued that behavior and he continued calling the police and went to court, he now has full custody of the children, she pays child support and has court ordered supervised visitation.

So with children now, courts do not automatically assume that the mother is the best parent and court orders are punishable by arrests and modification of custody orders.

Ok..gonna add my 2 cents to this issue. My hubby and I have only been seperated since the middle of March and we are currently in mediation; this is how we currently have the child support/visitation/custody set up.

We have joint custody with me being the custodial parent, he will pay child support and half of any daycare bills. He asked it to be that way for several reasons with the biggest reason being that he is going back on sea duty and this arrangment is the best case scenario for the kids. He says that since he's the one who left, he should be the one who pays child support. In return, I've agreed to grant very liberal visitation..he can get the kids whenever he wants and his schedule allows.

Not to hijack this thread..as for alimony, I'm declining it. Hopefully I'll be working in a few weeks, waiting on my orientation date at my new job, so I won't need any "personal" money from him. Right now, if I get a Big Mac attack, I have to ask him for a few bucks and I hate that! But I digress..as long as he keeps his end of the bargain (for a lack of a better term) and helps support our kids, then we won't be in court fighting over every little thing.

I, for one, cannot stand parents who don't seem to give a rats booty about helping the custodial parent support their children. It's the kids who end up suffering when the parents can't agree on an amount, make it a long drawn out court battle or they have to go without basic necessities due to a lack of money. Kids are not cheap at any age so every little penny helps.

ok..off my soap box

quote:

Originally posted by IzzyBizzy:
For starters, most states have guidelines on how much a man or woman will pay. One child = 20%, 2 children = 25% and 3 children = 33%. Some states vary in the percentages.

Sounds like what it is here. A certain dollar amount, with a max of a certain %. I know a lot of babies daddies who quit busting their a** to pay a certain % child support; they get a low-paying job to keep the payments low, and get cash jobs on the side.

quote:

Perhaps men could be taken more seriously in the court if the majority of deadbeat parents weren't men.....

Hey, only a valid statement if 50% of the custodial parents in this country were men. It's not. Therefore, there's a pretty clear pattern of discrimination against fathers getting their kids if a custody battle takes place.

We disriminate in favor of the mother as much as Muslim countries dicriminate in favor of the father.

quote:

Originally posted by undercoversister:

quote:

I've also had disagreements with my friends over child support. I personally don't see how a 3yro needs $500 a month(x2 or 3 if they have other kids). It does not cost that much a month to feed them,and clothe them, especially if you buy the childs clothes at the beginning of each season. Yes if you figure in daycare I can see how it can get costly, but in the cases I know of personally, they either receive free or reduced child care.

Ok, here is where you are wrong: Be a single mom with 2 children you need at least a 2 bedroom appartment, while your ex - now a single man - only needs one bedroom. Those are extra costs, every month. How much water, electricity and such is a houshold with 3 people using, compared to one with only one houshold member ?? Do you get where I am coming from ??

It is either use protection or pay child support. If you don't want to do neither one, raise the children yourself. Alot of men are complaining about having to pay child support, but when they are actually asked to raise the children themselves they come up with all kinds of excuses why it is "impossible" for them to do it.

You were accurate right up until the end. You are right is is not just food and diapers, it is rent utilities gas for getting around and all the other incidentals.

I have 50% custody of my children, and most of the divorced fathers I know have at least 30%. When my parents divorced, my father took full custody of me and my 2 sisters. More and more men are stepping up as parents.

Even at 50% I was paying child support, but it was only $300 for all 3 kids. In CA it is all based on the combined income and percentage of custody.

4053. In implementing the statewide uniform guideline, the courts
shall adhere to the following principles:
(a) A parent's first and principal obligation is to support his or
her minor children according to the parent's circumstances and
station in life.
(b) Both parents are mutually responsible for the support of their
children.
(c) The guideline takes into account each parent's actual income
and level of responsibility for the children.
(d) Each parent should pay for the support of the children
according to his or her ability.
(e) The guideline seeks to place the interests of children as the
state's top priority.
(f) Children should share in the standard of living of both
parents. Child support may therefore appropriately improve the
standard of living of the custodial household to improve the lives of
the children.

4055. (a) The statewide uniform guideline for determining child
support orders is as follows: CS = K (HN - (H%) (TN)).
(b) (1) The components of the formula are as follows:
(A) CS = child support amount.
(B) K = amount of both parents' income to be allocated for child
support as set forth in paragraph (3).
(C) HN = high earner's net monthly disposable income.
(D) H% = approximate percentage of time that the high earner has
or will have primary physical responsibility for the children
compared to the other parent. In cases in which parents have
different time-sharing arrangements for different children, H% equals
the average of the approximate percentages of time the high earner
parent spends with each child.
(E) TN = total net monthly disposable income of both parties.
(2) To compute net disposable income, see Section 4059.
(3) K (amount of both parents' income allocated for child support)
equals one plus H% (if H% is less than or equal to 50 percent) or
two minus H% (if H% is greater than 50 percent) times the following
fraction:


Total Net Disposable
Income Per Month K
$0-800 0.20 + TN/16,000
$801-6,666 0.25
$6,667-10,000 0.10 + 1,000/TN
Over $10,000 0.12 + 800/TN

For example, if H% equals 20 percent and the total monthly net
disposable income of the parents is $1,000, K = (1 + 0.20) X 0.25, or
0.30. If H% equals 80 percent and the total monthly net disposable
income of the parents is $1,000, K = (2 - 0.80) X 0.25, or 0.30.
(4) For more than one child, multiply CS by:


2 children 1.6
3 children 2
4 children 2.3
5 children 2.5
6 children 2.625
7 children 2.75
8 children 2.813
9 children 2.844
10 children 2.86

quote:

I, for one, cannot stand parents who don't seem to give a rats booty about helping the custodial parent support their children. It's the kids who end up suffering when the parents can't agree on an amount, make it a long drawn out court battle or they have to go without basic necessities due to a lack of money. Kids are not cheap at any age so every little penny helps.

You're exactly right.

My ex and I get along very well. I know she is devoted to the kids. She's a good mom. she would never sacrifice the kids welfare for her own motives. I've never asked for a modification even though I'm entitled and can win the case. I know she spends everything on the kids and I don't have an issue with her spending it on horseback riding lessons, guitar lessons, and other such stuff.

You want your kids to have it better than you did. At least I do. These guys who try to nickel and dime every issue are azzhats. Their kids will not show up and care for them when they're 80 years old sitting in a rocking chair.

My ex and I got, and get, along well. We never had a court ordered child support agreement, we did it ourselves using the above formula. When she started making more, I paid less. When I was deployed and she had the kids full time, I paid more, $2,800 a month. I never minded that it wold raise the standard of living for my ex while I was away, it was the money I would have spent on the kids had I been home.

Technically I currently owe her $17 dollars a month, but we do not worry aobut that. We just split the costs of things like soccer or drum lessons or camp.

I do not worry about when I am 80, I have been brainwashing the kids to convince them they are my retirement plan.

quote:

Originally posted by Tomcatt:
My ex and I got, and get, along well. We never had a court ordered child support agreement, we did it ourselves using the above formula. When she started making more, I paid less. When I was deployed and she had the kids full time, I paid more, $2,800 a month. I never minded that it wold raise the standard of living for my ex while I was away, it was the money I would have spent on the kids had I been home.

Technically I currently owe her $17 dollars a month, but we do not worry aobut that. We just split the costs of things like soccer or drum lessons or camp.

I do not worry about when I am 80, I have been brainwashing the kids to convince them they are my retirement plan.

I hope sooner or later there will be more fathers like you out there. It honors you, that you take care of your children, both financially and also as a custodial parent.

I just finished paying for number one son - he's now off to college.

He and his brother received it directly once they turned 14. We had accounts set up for them so I dumped their child support there. It has taught them the value of a dollar, and that lesson will serve them well throughout their lifetimes.

One idea I've always had: To ensure that child support gets paid, it should become tax deductible. You'd have a lot fewer deadbeat parents under those circumstances.

The system is screwed. My friend has been trying to get child support from his ex since 97. Agencies laugh at him.

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Originally posted by jwr6:

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Originally posted by IzzyBizzy:
For starters, most states have guidelines on how much a man or woman will pay. One child = 20%, 2 children = 25% and 3 children = 33%. Some states vary in the percentages.

Sounds like what it is here. A certain dollar amount, with a max of a certain %. I know a lot of babies daddies who quit busting their a** to pay a certain % child support; they get a low-paying job to keep the payments low, and get cash jobs on the side.

Back before the states started cooperating even to the extent they do now I know of one father (a trucker) who quit a job were he had a LOT of seniority and VERY good benefits to work as an independent driver because his wages were attached by the courts. He then parked his truck on the side of the road and walked away from it when the courts put a lien on it for nonpayment. Later he went to court to get the amount lowered (he was SEVERAL YEARS behind in total) and the judge stated that with his income he should have been paying more and he had the choice of paying ALL he owed or going to jail this is when he finally payed, unfortunately by then 2 of the 5 kids were already out of high school and on their on after about 10 years of the father paying only a fraction of what he owed (and trying to blame it on the mother who actually spent every dime he gave her on the kids) and the mother working very long hours to try to make enough to keep food on the table and buy other essentials.

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Originally posted by GunnyRet03:
The system is screwed. My friend has been trying to get child support from his ex since 97. Agencies laugh at him.

Assumming it was court ordered.
Did he/she ever bother to hire a lawyer that specialized in that type of case or to contact the groups that help, especially important for interstate problems when you can't afford the lawyer, to go back to the court to get the order enforced, etc.
If he/she lost in court then what was the reason the court gave?
These days most of the complaints such as this that I hear are:
* interstate problems with the deadbeat moving every time the courts catch up with them or
* because the custodial parent doesn't push (attach wages, put liens on property, file cases that would result in jail time, etc) or
* because the custodial parent lost in court and did not get what they wanted.