Anybody else out there , either going or there already ?

Hi, my husband is a Navy Seabee Reservist, he is in Iraq now.

Yup, my husband was yanked off his ship and sent to the sand box.

I'm fixin to go to the sandbox next month, what would be some good advice to me or my family.
what did your families do to prepare for it.
physically and mentally ?

We only had a month's notice; he had only been on board 2 months, and we hadn't even finished unpacking from our move when my husband got his orders. We were in shock, to say the least. Both of us have more than 20 years in the Navy, so we've been through our share of deployments, and were stationed on seperate continents once, but this did not compare. The major difference in preparing for this deployment (other than the short notice) was that we made sure things were in place in case he doesn't come home. I mean, we always had wills, and emergency contact information, (the standard deployment check list) but this time, I made a file with all of that and his insurance policies so if the worst happened, I could concentrate on taking care of our kids and not be distracted by trying to remember where I put that POA, or the number to Navy Mutual. It's the only file in my cabinet without a label, cuz I don't know what to call it.

I also read everything I could find about IAs, including everything Bupers has on line, and attended one of the IA presetations put on by the F&FSC. The most helpful part of that was hearing from Navy IA and career Army couples. I guess that would be the mental preperation. Physically, we didn't do anything special before he left. It got plenty physical for him during combat training; however! I joined a gym and work out 3x a week to help deal with the unique stress that only teenagers know how to apply, and give me the physical strength I need to continue our home renovation.

With training, he'll be gone a total of 10 months, the longest we've ever been separated, and our last month together was spent fixing stuff around the house, express planning a kitchen renovation, and making sure I knew how to start the generator. Now that he's in the NArmy, our ability to communicate isn't great, but not more than 2 days go by that I don't get an email, or we can even IM. He's been working long hours 7 days a week for the past several months, and I can tell it's beginning to wear on him.

Only advise I'd offer you and your family is to have some serious conversations about your hopes and fears, and have a plan for any forseeable problem (with the understanding that even the best plans get fubar'd; and in those cases, all you can do is adapt and overcome). Being on the ground in a war zone, makes this deployment more stressful on everybody than your standard shipboard cruise. Find a healthy way to deal with that stress, communicate honestly and as frequently as possible, and hang out with people who have a positive effect on you.

Just got back from Iraq 2 weeks ago, I volunteered and had 60 days to prepare. I just transfered with my family only 60 days before I received orders. Leaving them with no family and friends to turn to ... and on a Island. I'm having a hard time adjusting back to normalcy.

mrsagusa, I'm sure you are not alone in your difficulty adjusting back to "normalcy". A friend of ours, a Navy nurse, is still trying to adjust almost 3 years after her tour. She is definately a different person, having been changed in permanent ways by her experiences there. I worry about what our "new normal" will be when my husband returns, then within a few months of his return, deploys with his ship. If you'd be willing to share your thoughts and experiences on this forum, I'm sure it would be beneficial to other Navy IAs and their families. There are a lot of us and so little discussion.

NCC23,
Thanks for that advice and info , I concur
on mrsagusa shareing thoughts and experiences.
I'm going from reserves , so I will have a job to come back to. although my job consists of veterans and some are from the first gulf war
I have tons of support from friends, coworkers and family. I wish you both the best of luck.

I will post about my experience in as much detail as possible. I have to get my head on straight first My husband and I have been talking and there are some good points I would like to put out.

quote:

Originally posted by bigguns76:
I'm fixin to go to the sandbox next month, what would be some good advice to me or my family.
what did your families do to prepare for it.
physically and mentally ?

Make sure your spouse has a POA, try to keep in touch as much as possible, write down things to remember to tell each other - because when you do talk it is easy to forget things that you were going to say. Make sure your family has contacts for the ombudsman, sometimes thats hard when your in the reserves. Tell your family to try to keep busy and stay positive! Hopefully they will have a good support team. Good Luck and be careful.

Hi bigguns76-- I'm a Navy Mom with a Seabee son that got back a couple of months ago. Because we are a big family we agreed ahead of time that when one of us heard from him..either via email or tele" that we would immediately share the call with each other (emails work great ). It worked our very good for us, and less stress on him. Make a list of "stuff" that your going to miss while your gone and give it to the family. the grandkids sent fun things,,,even Twinkies that they knew thier Dad would miss. It made "shopping" easy for us,,,cause we knew what he was craving.
I learned not to watch the news before going to bed at night.
I had a message on my answering machine..."Hey Ma,,where are you, etc, etc".......I threatened bodily harm to anyone that dared to erase that message/ and in the middle of the night,,it was great to just "hear his voice". It's a Mom thing!!!
Good luck,,,,,,,,and God Bless!!!
NavyMom Jean in RI

Thanks alot for all the advice !!! , I have 23 days left till I depart , where do I get international phone cards at has anybody gone to one of the NMPS sites, either in Norfolk or San Diego, or Gulfport .

bigguns76, my husband was able to get phone cards in Kuwait, and he went thru the NMPS in San Diego.

I will be going thru NMPS in Gulfport. weredo you get them stateside ?

Hi I'm back and I think I screwed my head on alright.

Bigguns76: Fort Jackson will have what your looking for, a bit spendy but they will do for what you need. Some NMPS sites give out goody bags with calling card in them and if you ask the chaplains office also might be able to help you locate some freebies, don't hurt to ask. I went through San Diego in January and no goody bags, but that may have changed by now. Good luck.

One piece of advice I would want to put out is make sure your command keeps in contact with your spouse and kids. Make them understand that even your away they are still apart of the 'family.'

My command called my hubby at least once a month to check up on them and then they continuously invited them to command functions and luncheons with the people in charge to discuss IA's and the effects they have on the family (with short notice and all.) They made a real effort and it made a big difference on how I regard my command.

I will go thru NMPS Gulfport , maybe they give goody bags out? from what I heard from my NOSC CO is that he makes phone calls once a month personally to the spouses of the IA's out of his NOSC.

You can get international phone cards at Walmart. They are the blue AT&T ones.

I'm glad to hear some commands keep in touch with families, as both our family and deployed spouse seem to have been forgotten by "our" command. Except to email my husband and ask him if he would be taking leave when he gets back, (so they would know whether to put him on the holiday watchbill), we haven't heard from them at all. Heck, I'm a retired Chief; I don't need no stinkin' help, right? But a "How ya doin'?" once in a while would be nice, ya know? Between us, we have over 40 years of military service, and this whole IA experience has left us feeling as though our contribution couldn't matter less. We're proud to do our part for the GWOT, but this experience has made up our minds about whether he'll retire when eligible; we'll be doing our part in the future as veterans.

Sorry I have not been on here a while, trying to keep myself on schedule with everything !! , they say the nosc is going to help you do those checklists for you , but they never want to do them till the day you leave , 14 days later !!
what was you DH experiance at the NMPS ?