We had an MT on my first boat with a collection. He tried to get every member of the crew to "donate" to his collection. He had it taped to a big piece of cardboard in plastic sandwich bags, along with an index card of when and how each member donated.
You could give voluntarily, or involuntarily, to his pubic hair collection... needless to say, it was shut down, but, not before he had almost 100 donation.
No to mention the hundreds of little green army men that were glued all over the engineroom of a different boat....they didn't come down for ORSE and to my knowledge are still there today.
Is the topic about things inside or outside the boat? If it's outside, I have some 'winners' but OpSec prevents me from mentioning them If it's inside...um...same answer!
We had an Electrician that got crabs from his girlfriend in his half way night box... that was "interesting". Especially if you happened to be one of the other 'tricians in the bunk room with him. After doc got them all cleaned up we had some wiseass that made up a "crab-like" insect from EB Green that got strung up across their bunk room curtian. That was funny.
For some reason, we got a case of cases - gross of number two pencils times two delivered to the boat before we went underway. Two pallet jacks full. We gave away as many as we could but it still ended up being way way too many, so the uses of all those exam pencils was put to use.
We had this one guy from West By G*d Virginia who would break them with his crank, and by crank, I do not mean the guy doing KP in the Galley. Before too long, there were actually people lining up to match his exploits. If I hadn't actually been there, I would think it was a sea story, but it is real, and independently verifiable.
Does that qualify as a good PTSD story? (Post time at sea dramatization)
We also had one dude miss a patrol because the night before underway he and his wife were ahem... doing "IT", and she got a little, shall we say "carried away" and bent his crank in half. So bad he had to go to the hospital.
Man o man.. that dude had a HARD time living that one down...
We had a man sustain a spider bite to his unit that was so severe the HMC on the LY Pier had it photographed so that the swelling would be documented for posterity!
He was the only submariner who ever, truthfully, could not get underway because his Lindon B was too big!
Tried to remove it (was gonna say get it off.. that didn't sound right), and it just wouldn't come off...
Ended up going to sick call... that was a hoot. HMC had to take this one, as he couldn't believe it. We all had a great laugh, he made a comment about it being a good thing I didn't get excited as the tick would have filled with blood and exploded.
My Lady told me to post this and get it over with:
New sailor reported aboard one of my boats on a weekend. Yeo brought me his service record and I was idly thumbing through it when I came upon an item delineating 'identifying marks and scars.' It said that he had a black widow spider tattooed on his 'crank'. I still wonder, to this day, how drunk you'd have to be to do THAT!
That is crazy! First of all, that would put wee willy wonka out of action for a couple of weeks, getting the barber shop treatment. Don't know about you, but I always had better plans with my favorite playmate, and it never involved needles and other men!
If it's inside...um...same answer!
