so i've been doing ok in general. this weekend has been particularly crappy though. i've just been crying and the usual... just really missing him all of a sudden...but then tonight. a friend of mike's called tonight. a friend who was with him during it. he was holding his hand and talking to him.
he didn't warn me he was calling. just called out of the blue. and it's ridiculously difficult when you're not prepared. it's just like, ugh, i can't ask him to call back, it's hard for him to call. but i wanted to hear the details, i told him that. but you can't just call randomly. it's so hard to deal with. and then i'm crying and i don't know what to do and i'm overwhelmed.
ebialyk , I wish this was easier for you. But when you love with your whole heart the pain runs just as deep. There isn't a time limit on pain.But hopefully you will know peace at some point.
As hard as this has been for you to deal with, the guys that were with him are going to carry the images and memories in thier minds for the rest of thier lives. Helping them cope with this may in some way help both of you. They need to talk to someone, perhaps it isn't you. For me it would be extremely difficult to hear all of this. You would be an excellent addition to a therapy group for returning soldiers. The best thing we can do for ourselves sometimes is to help another. HUGS!
Does anyone else ever get the urge to load up like Rambo and head over there and blow the rags off of every head they see? Sorry if this offends anyone as it is mis-aimed and politically incorrect as not every individual that wears such headgear is the enemy, I KNOW THIS. Anger is part of the grief process and I feel this part of it. It just feels good to get it out.
And at some point you have to start protecting your heart by telling them that you can't hear any more details, as hard as that may be on both you and the guys.
*hugs* eb. I said this in confessions, but I want to tell you again that I still think of you and pray for you every day. OfKev-Mom had a good idea I think. Maybe see if there is a place near you that has a group therapy for the soldiers or something like that. Helping someone else does sometimes help you at the sametime. Of course only do it if you feel it's right for you. I just wish that I could blow all your pain away. *hugs* again.
Kyle, I can't say anything better or different than everyone else has expressed. Grief seems to hit in waves. Often you get knocked off your feet when you least expect it, and get caught in the undertow.
I thank the Good Lord that he had you in his short life and got to experience this love. Heartbreak is always the potential price we pay for falling in love. I'm sure you would do it all over again even if you knew how it would end. Now I am going to go sob like a baby and pray to the Lord to keep them all safe and bring them home soon. Hugs and more hugs.
I don´t know you, but I have been reading all your posts and I can´t stop crying, I am so sorry you are going thru this. I will pray for you. Have faith in God that all will be better in a near future, He can help you, He can give you confort and peace. My boyfriend is in Iraq, I love him and I can imagine how painful must be to lose your loved one, but you should be grateful that he always knew how much you loved him, he was very lucky to have you in his life and feel your love.
I pray to God that you'll feel peace again. I couldn't imagine going through what you're going through, cause if I do. I choke and I can't stop crying, so I'm very sure it's painful. So I will keep you in my prayers as well.
