Hi friends. So it looks like DH and I aren't doing so great... I'm 100% sure that we need counceling. Small problem with that is I'm in Cali and he's in korea. Would I be able to see someone here even tho he's not here? I just know that giving up so easily is not the answer. I'd like us to try and get help before we make any decisions we might regret later. I'm sorry but I need to ask if anything like this has ever happened to anyone... So I was a week into my 3 week trip to Korea and it was early in the morning and DH wasn't in bed. I got up to see if he was ok and he was online IM'ing some female. Without even noticing that yet, I asked if he was ok. He frantically tried to log out and close the lap top. That's when I noticed what he was doing. I asked who he was talking to and in an instant, he turned into someone I never seen before and made me take the next flight back to Cali. When I got home, I didn't talk to him for a few weeks and when I finally did, he said he was going to file for divorce. A couple weeks after that, he said he don't want to divorce afterall. We spoke through text for a couple days then no more contact again. I let him know that I need him to think hard about what he wants to do since he's acting like I'm non existant. His excuse is he didn't want to spend money on minutes but when I email him, he completely ignores them. I know his daily routine so I know he checks his email at least 4 times a day and he's always IM'ing our friends. So it's not like he's busy. I may be sounding spoils here, but the fact is that since he made me leave, he's been so distant from me. I know he sometimes needs to go to the field and I'm not just being greedy with his time. I just want to make that clear. Well to make a long story... Not too much longer, I want us to get counceling and try to fix what is almost completely broken. How do I find a place here in my city?also, is it crazy to give him the ultimatum that if he don't get help then we have no other choice then to divorce? I've been so unhappy since I've been back and I don't want to live the rest of my life in an unhappy, unloving marraige where I my husband don't even want to talk to me but he wants to make sure I'm still there... I'm so confused.
Military one Source is the place to start. Call them and they should pass your information on to a counselor. They can also provide a counselor in Korea for your dh if he wishes to go to see one. This is a step that you will both have to work through.
But by the sound of it you need to be prepared for a divorce. It might not happen but just be prepared. Make sure you have your own savings account, a job, etc... as a backup plan.
im sorry to hear about your troubles. id try to get some counseling from MOS, and, god forbid, should he pursue the divorce, make sure if you have joint accounts to freeze them. In the meantime, people can do some really crazy things when they are missing someone badly and feel lonely or isolated. Distance can get to some people. If you ever need anyone to talk to we are all here for you. *hug*
Thanks to all the responses. I'm sorry to have to say that the military chaplan and his captain were knocking at my door a few days ago. I'm sure you all know what that means. I never wanted to have to see them at my door step. I appreciate all the help I've ever gotten from all my friends here on military.com.
Lead Mod Navy and Recconect America Forums catherine0830@msn.com Democracy will survive until the government figures out it can bribe the people with their own money.
