Working with Others, Chapter seven of the AA Big Book can be accessed and read at the below link.

http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_bigbook_chapt7.pdf

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(Pages 89 through 103)
Now comes our Primary Purpose!

We have ended our debate as to whether or not there really is a God, as we understand Him, through Steps One, Two and Three.

We put an end to the debates and confusion that goes on in our heads through Steps Four, Five, Six and Seven.

We have put an end to the disputes and disharmony with those about us through Steps Eight and Nine.

We learned how to clear our minds of resentments, fear, selfishness, dishonesty, etc., through Step Ten.

We learned how to talk to God (prayer) and try to listen to God (meditation) through Step Eleven.

We are ready to go to work. Having done our work as directed, we have been blessed with a spiritual awakening/experience. We have had a personality change sufficient to recover from alcoholism. Now we go to work with our Program.

If we truly appreciate what God has done for us, we will show him our gratitude by the way we begin to repay our debt to Him and all those who have made it possible for us to live a life filled with peace of mind and a real purpose. Chapters Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten and Eleven give us the information we need to begin to learn how to do that.

Our first responsibility is to the alcoholic who is still suffering from alcoholism -- the newcomer. Chapter Seven gives us clear-cut directions on where to find the sick ones, how to qualify them, how to help the serious drinkers understand what alcoholism is and determine if they, in fact, might be an alcoholic. We are then given directions on how to “sponsor” them into sobriety. Those of us who are willing to apply the experience and knowledge revealed in this Chapter will be blessed with many friends and realize the true joy of living. It is an experience we must not miss. If we do, we will very likely return to drinking and may never have another chance at sobriety.

Notice a rather significant change in the wording of this Chapter. Through the first Six Chapters, the word “we” is used extensively. He now begins using the word “you.” He points his finger at each of us to make it clear as to whose responsibility it is to try to “Carry this message to other alcoholics!” It is the responsibility of each of us to protect our sobriety by searching out the still-suffering alcoholic and go to them with an attitude of love and service.

It is easier to stay sober than it is to sober up! Working with others is our insurance against returning to drink.

The fore and aft information was completed by a friend of ours in the program named Cliff B.

Cliff broke up all 164 pages of the AA Book with questions before the text to draw attention to spicific points. The format, for me, has brought a deeper understanding of the AA program. Each section of numbers starting with the number “1” begins a new page in the Big Book.

(Page 89)

1. What does practical experience show us? Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics.

Comment: Why did we come to Alcoholics Anonymous in the first place?

2. If all else fails, do what? It works when other activities fail.

3. Carry what? This is our twelfth suggestion: Carry this message

4. To whom? to other alcoholics! Please notice the (!) placing emphasis on the subject.

5. Who else is able to help the suffering alcoholic? You can help when no one else can.

6. Why are you able to do this? You can secure their confidence when others fail.
7. Why is it so important from their viewpoint? Remember they are very ill.

8. What will happen to your life? Life will take on new meaning.

9. What happens as the result of us doing what we must do to assure our sobriety? To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends - this is an experience you must not miss.

10. Are you willing to take a risk on missing what this is really all about? We know you will not want to miss it.

11. What is the bright spot of our lives? Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives.

12. It is hard to believe, but it may be that some of us are not what? Perhaps you are not acquainted with any drinkers who want to recover.

13. Where do the First 100 suggest you start? You can easily find some by asking a few doctors, ministers, priests or hospitals.

Comment: Can you think of other possibilities?

14. Why would you think they might be glad to help you with your search? They will be only too glad to assist you.

15. Better not do what? Don't start out as an evangelist or reformer.

16. What two reasons are given? (2 sentences) Unfortunately a lot of prejudice exists. You will be handicapped if you arouse it.

18. Who can we learn something from? Ministers and doctors are competent and you can learn much from them if you wish,

19. What can you do that they can’t? but it happens that because of your own drinking experience you can be uniquely useful to other alcoholics.

19. So we do what? So cooperate; never criticize.

20. What is our real purpose? To be helpful is our only aim.

Comment: Remember our real purpose stated on page 77?

(Page 90)

Comment: We are going to learn how to qualify a serious drinker for a 12th Step call.

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Moved Reply:

1. When you learn of a prospect, do what first? When you discover a prospect for Alcoholics Anonymous, find out all you can about him.

2. When do we not bother to talk to him? If he does not want to stop drinking, don't waste time trying to persuade him

3. Why? You may spoil a later opportunity.

4. Who else should know this? This advice is given for his family also.

5. What position should the family take? They should be patient, realizing they are dealing with a sick person.

6. If they indicate they have a desire to stop drinking, what is a good first thing to do? If there is any indication that he wants to stop, have a good talk with the person most interested in him - usually his wife.

7. Why would we want to do this? Get an idea of his behavior, his problems, his background, the seriousness of his condition, and his religious leanings.

8. How can this help you? You need this information to put yourself in his place, to see how you would like him to approach you if the tables were turned
.
9. Sometimes it is a good idea to do what? Sometimes it is wise to wait till he goes on a binge.

10. Who is going to resist this idea? The family may object to this, but unless he is in a dangerous physical condition, it is better to risk it.

11. Don’t do what? Don't deal with him when he is very drunk,

12. Unless what? unless he is ugly and the family needs your help.

13. When is a good time to ask a prospect a very important question? Wait for the end of the spree, or at least for a lucid interval.

14. What question should the serious drinker be asked? Then let his family or a friend ask him if he wants to quit for good and if he would go to any extreme to do so.

15. If the prospect says “yes” to the question, what should the family do then? If he says yes, then his attention should be drawn to you as a person who has recovered.

16. How should you be described to the prospect? You should be described to him as one of a fellowship who, as part of their own recovery, try to help others and who will be glad to talk to him.

16-b. What condition should be met by the prospect? if he cares to see you

(Page 90 - continued)

18. Should we go talk to the prospect whether or not they want to see us? If he does not want to see you, never force yourself upon him.

19. How should the family react if the drinker says, “no?” Neither should the family hysterically plead with him to do anything, nor should they tell him much about you.

20. What should they wait for? They should wait for the end of his next drinking bout.

21. What could we do in the meantime, if it seems appropriate? (2 sentences) You might place this book where he can see it in the interval. Here no specific rule can be given.

22. What must the family decide? The family must decide these things.

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(Page 91)

1. Encourage the family to what? But urge them not to be over-anxious,

2. Why? for that might spoil matters.

3. What else should the family not try to do? Usually the family should not try to tell your story

4. When possible, how should we not meet the drinker? When possible, avoid meeting a man through his family.

5. What is a better introduction? Approach through a doctor or an institution is a better bet.

6. Do we oppose medical treatment for the drinker? If your man needs hospitalization, he should have it, but not forcibly unless he is violent.

7. Who can best introduce the prospect to your possible solution?
Let the doctor, if he will, tell him he has something in the way of a solution.

8. When might you see him? When your man is better, the doctor might suggest a visit from you.

9. Who do we not want present at our first meeting? Though you have talked with the family, leave them out of the first discussion.

10. Why is this a good idea? Under these conditions your prospect will see he is under no pressure.

11. It will let him what? He will feel he can deal with you without being nagged by his family.

12. When do you really want to have your first talk with a serious drinker? Call on him while he is still jittery.

13. Why? He may be more receptive when depressed.

Comment: When is an alcoholic’s suffering the greatest and he is most willing to do anything to not have to go through this misery again?

14. How do we want to first meet the prospect? See your man alone, if possible.

15. How do we begin? At first engage in general conversation.

16. Then start talking about what? After a while, turn the talk to some phase of drinking.

17. What do we tell him? Tell him enough about your drinking habits, symptoms, and experiences

18. What are we hoping for? to encourage him to speak of himself.

19. If he starts talking, what do we do? If he wishes to talk, let him do so.

(Page 91- continued)

20. What will you learn initially? You will thus get a better idea of how you ought to proceed.

21. What do we do if he doesn’t want to talk? If he is not communicative, give him a sketch of your drinking career up to the time you quit.

22. Is this a good time to talk about our program of recovery? But say nothing, for the moment, of how that was accomplished.

23. If he seems to be serious about our conversation, what do we dwell on? If he is in a serious mood dwell on the troubles liquor has caused you,

24. What are we careful not to do? being careful not to moralize or lecture.

25. If he is enjoying the conversation, do what? If his mood is light, tell him humorous stories of your escapades.

26. Encourage him to do what? Get him to tell some of his.

27. Once he sees that you know what you are talking about, who do we do? When he sees you know all about the drinking game, commence to describe yourself as an alcoholic.

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(Page 92)

1. Tell him what? Tell him how baffled you were, how you finally learned that you were sick.

2. Give him an account of what? Give him an account of the struggles you made to stop.

3. Show him that the mental twist does what? Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree.

4. What Chapter in this Book do we go to explain the insanity of alcoholism? We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism. Chapter Three “More About Alcoholism”

5. What will this do for him? If he is alcoholic, he will understand you at once.

6. Will he maybe enter into a “can you top this?” dialogue? He will match your mental inconsistencies with some of his own.

7. What very important determination are we to make at this point? If you are satisfied that he is a real alcoholic,

8. If we suspect we have a real one, what do we begin to do? begin to dwell on the hopeless feature of the malady.

9 What is the source of your information? Show him, from your own experience,

10. What do we try to show him? how the ***** mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power.

11. What do we not do at this point? Don't, at this stage, refer to this book,

12. Unless what? unless he has seen it and wishes to discuss it.

13. What do we not call him, even though it is necessary that we have determined this? And be careful not to brand him as an alcoholic.

14. What is important? Let him draw his own conclusion.

15. What do we do if he doesn’t think he has a serious drinking problem? If he sticks to the idea that he can still control his drinking, tell him that possibly he can - if he is not too alcoholic.

Comment: Remember Fred’s story in Chapter 3? “They told him what they knew of alcoholism” and then left him to learn the truth for himself.

16. Do we tell him the truth anyway? But insist that if he is severely afflicted, there may be little chance he can recover by himself.

Comment: A year later, coming off a drunk, Fred remembered they had told him that if he had an alcoholic mind, he would drink again.

17. How do we continue to speak of alcoholism? Continue to speak of alcoholism as an illness, a fatal malady.

18. Do we emphasize the powerlessness because of the allergy and the unmanageability because of the alcoholic mind?
Talk about the conditions of body and mind which accompany it. Keep his attention focused mainly on your personal experience.

(Page 92 - continued)

19. On what do we keep his attention focused? Explain that many are doomed who never realize their predicament

Until a recovered alcoholic tells his story to a suffering alcoholic, describing the powerless and the unmanageability, the suffering alcoholic cannot understand the hopelessness of alcoholism. Case in point: Bill’s first visit with Dr. Bob. That being the case, how can we encourage alcoholics to sit in meetings when there are 20 or more out there suffering who will never understand there is a way out if we don’t search them out and tell them? Does it appear to you that many in our Fellowship have lost sight of our Primary Purpose?

20. What do we explain to him? Doctors are rightly loath to tell alcoholic patients the whole story unless it will serve some good purpose.

21. Are doctors anxious to tell their alcoholic patients the truth? But you may talk to him about the hopelessness of alcoholism because you offer a solution.

22-a. What can we do that the doctors are reluctant to do? But you may talk to him about the hopelessness of alcoholism

22. Why is this so? because you offer a solution.

24. If we stick with the directions given here, what will very likely happen? You will soon have your friend admitting he has many, if not all, of the traits of the alcoholic.

25. What will help you get his serious attention? If his own doctor is willing to tell him that he is alcoholic, so much the better.

26. If we have done a good job of describing the disease to our protégé, what will he be curious to know? Even though your “protégé” may not have entirely admitted his condition, he has become very curious to know how you got well.

Question - Has anyone ever found the word, “sponsee” in the Big Book or in a Dictionary for that matter? Can’t help but wonder where it came from. It would seem ”prospect” or “protégé” would be more appropriate for serious students of our Basic Text.
_______________________________________________________

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(Page 93)

1. What do we let him do? Let him ask you that question, if he will.

2. Tell him what? Tell him exactly what happened to you.

3. Stress what? Stress the spiritual feature freely.

4. What do we do if he is a non-believer? If the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic that he does not have to agree with your conception of God.

5. He can choose what? He can choose any conception he likes, provided it makes sense to him.

6. The main thing is that he be willing to do two things. What are they? The main thing is that he be willing to believe in a Power greater than himself and that he live by spiritual principles.

Comment: Again, the “spiritual principles” are the Twelve Steps.

7. How should we talk about our Program? When dealing with such a person, you had better use everyday language to describe spiritual principles.

8. What may happen if we start getting righteous? There is no use arousing any prejudice he may have against certain theological terms and conceptions about which he may already be confused

9. Do we talk our Program or our convictions? Don't raise such issues, no matter what your own convictions are.

10. What if the prospect belongs to a religious organization and is well schooled in religion? (3 sentences) Your prospect may belong to a religious denomination. His religious education and training may be far superior to yours. In that case he is going to wonder how you can add anything to what he already knows.

11. What will they be curious to learn? But he will be curious to learn why his own convictions have not worked and why yours seem to work so well.

12. What may they be proof of? He may be an example of the truth that faith alone is insufficient.
Comment: “Faith without works is dead?”

13. Faith must be accompanied by what? To be vital, faith must be accompanied by self sacrifice and unselfish, constructive action.

14. What are we not going to talk about? Let him see that you are not there to instruct him in religion.

15. Congratulate him on what he does know, but to what do we draw his attention? Admit that he probably knows more about it than you do, but call to his attention the fact that however deep his faith and knowledge, he could not have applied it or he would not drink.

Comment: Having faith and knowing what to do but not doing it, will not work for us!

16. How could trying to carry this message by telling our story help them see the point we just tried to make? Perhaps your story will help him see where he has failed to practice the very precepts he knows so well.

17. We represent no what? We represent no particular faith or denomination.

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(Page 94)

1. We deal only with what? We are dealing only with general principles

2. They are what? common to most denominations.

3. Do we then outline the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous? Outline the program of action, explaining how you made a self-appraisal, how you straightened out your past and why you are now endeavoring to be helpful to him.

4. What is very important for them to realize? It is important for him to realize that your attempt to pass this on to him plays a vital part in your own recovery.

5. In reality, who is certain to benefit? Actually, he may be helping you more than you are helping him.

6. What do we make plain? Make it plain he is under no obligation to you,

7. Our hope for them is what? that you hope only that he will try to help other alcoholics when he escapes his own difficulties

8. We suggest what as being important? Suggest how important it is that he place the welfare of other people ahead of his own.

9. What do we make clear? Make it clear that he is not under pressure, that he needn't see you again if he doesn't want to.

10. It shouldn’t bother us if they what? You should not be offended if he wants to call it off,

11. Why is that so? for he has helped you more than you have helped him.

12. How should our talk with them be? If your talk has been sane, quiet and full of human understanding,

13. If it was, what might have happened? you have perhaps made a friend

14. What may we have disturbed them about? Maybe you have disturbed him about the question of alcoholism.

15. Is that good or bad? This is all to the good.

16. Why would that be so? The more hopeless he feels, the better.

17. Why is it good to make them feel hopeless? He will be more likely to follow your suggestions.

18. If the candidate rejects the program, should we argue with them? (2 sentences) Your candidate may give reasons why he need not follow all of the program. He may rebel at the thought of a drastic housecleaning which requires discussion with other people.

19. What should we not do? Do not contradict such views.

20. What do we tell them? Tell him you once felt as he does, but you doubt whether you would have made much progress had you not taken action.

21. Do we mention Alcoholics Anonymous? On your first visit tell him about the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.

22. If they show interest, what do we make sure they have before we leave? If he shows interest, lend him your copy of this book.

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(Page 95)

1. At this point, we leave unless what? Unless your friend wants to talk further about himself, do not wear out your welcome.

2. What do we give him? Give him a chance to think it over.

3. If we do stay longer, who directs the conversation? If you do stay, let him steer the conversation in any direction he likes.

4. What if the new person wants to get going right now? (2 sentences) Sometimes a new man is anxious to proceed at once. and you may be tempted to let him do so. This is sometimes a mistake.

5. Why could it prove to be a problem? If he has trouble later, he is likely to say you rushed him.

6. To be most successful, we should display what kind of an attitude?
You will be most successful with alcoholics if you do not exhibit any passion for crusade or reform.

7. What is another thing we should never do? Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop;

8. We simply do what? simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection.

9. What do we show them? Show him how they worked with you.

10. We offer what? Offer him friendship and fellowship.

11. What do we tell them at this point? Tell him that if he wants to get well you will do anything to help.

12. If they are not interested in our Program of recovery, what should we do? If he is not interested in your solution, if he expects you to act only as a banker for his financial difficulties or a nurse for his sprees, you may have to drop him until he changes his mind.

13. What may happen, if we do and why? This he may do after he gets hurt some more.

14. If they appear to be sincere, what do we ask them to do? If he is sincerely interested and wants to see you again, ask him to read this book in the interval.

15. After doing this, what must they do? After doing that, he must decide for himself whether he wants to go on.

16. By all means, what should not be done? He should not be pushed or prodded by you, his wife, or his friends.

17. To be successful in our Program, what must happen within the prospect? If he is to find God, the desire must come from within.

18. What do we do if they think there is a better way? If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him to follow his own conscience.

19. Do we have the only path of recovery? We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach that worked with us.

20. What should we point out to the alcoholic? But point out that we alcoholics have much in common and that you would like, in any case, to be friendly.

21. What do we do then? Let it go at that.

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(Page 96)

1. Should we be discouraged if they don’t buy our Program? Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once.

2. What should we do? Search out another alcoholic and try again.

Comment: Where did we get the idea that we are to sit in meetings and wait for them to show up?

3. If you do, what will happen? You are sure to find someone desperate enough to accept with eagerness what you offer.

4. How do some of us waste our time? We find it a waste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot or will not work with you.

5. If we leave the “slipper” alone, what may happen? If you leave such a person alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself.

6. Why should we not spend too much time on one who will not follow directions? To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy.

7. Was one of our Fellowship lucky at 12th Stepping efforts early on? One of our Fellowship failed entirely with his first half dozen prospects.

Comment: This person was Bill Wilson.

8. What did he say would have happened if he had kept wasting his time? He often says that if he had continued to work on them, he might have deprived many others, who have since recovered, of their chance.

9. We are now going to make our second visit to our prospect. What have they done? Suppose now you are making your second visit to a man. He has read this volume

10. What are they ready to do? and says he is prepared to go through with the Twelve Steps of the program of recovery

Comment: Where on earth did we come up with the, “Don’t drink and go to meetings; you’ll be OK?” Or worse yet, “Go to 90 meetings in 90 days.”? The authors of this Basic Text, very early in their sobriety, TOOK the Steps and recovered. They did not sit and just talk about them.

11. Why can you give your protégé advice? Having had the experience yourself, you can give him much practical advice.

Comment: Note that while the Big Book is based on the experience and knowledge of its authors, we are now told that a Sponsor should give his protégé advice, based on his experience and knowledge. Only a person’s Sponsor has the privilege and responsibility to give advice. All others should limit their conversations to their own experience.

(Page 96 - continued)

12. Let them know that you are available to help them if they are ready to take which three Steps? Let him know you are available if he wishes to make a decision and tell his story,
Steps Three, Four & Five.

Comment: If we are dealing with a real alcoholic and have carefully followed the directions to this point, the prospect has already taken Steps One and Two. As the result of your helping the person understand the exact nature of alcoholism [Step One], and since you have recovered, you have given them the hope of Step Two. This is exactly what Bill W. was able to do for Dr. Bob on the evening of May 12, 1935.

13. What if they want to work with someone else? but do not insist upon it if he prefers to consult someone else.

14. What if your prospect is broke and homeless? (2 sentences) He may be broke and homeless. If he is, you might try to help him about getting a job, or give him a little financial assistance.

15. But we should not do what? But you should not deprive your family or creditors of money they should have.

16. We might be willing to do what? Perhaps you will want to take the man into your home for a few days.

17. But be sure to do what? But be sure you use discretion.

18. Be certain of what two very important considerations? Be certain he will be welcomed by your family, and that he is not trying to impose upon you for money, connections, or shelter.

19. How can we hurt his chances? Permit that and you only harm him.

20. We can make it possible for what? You will be making it possible for him to be insincere.

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(Page 97)

1. If we provide too much physical and/or material help to the newcomer, it may do what? You may be aiding in his destruction rather than his recovery.

2. If we do provide material support, be sure of what? Never avoid these responsibilities, but be sure you are doing the right thing if you assume them.

3. Why are we so anxious to help others? Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery.

4. Will an occasional effort do it? A kindly act once in a while isn't enough.

5. How often should we be willing to help others? You have to act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be.

6. What inconveniences might this impose on us? (rest of paragraph)It may mean the loss of many nights' sleep, great interference with your pleasures, interruptions to your business. It may mean sharing your money and your home, counseling frantic wives and relatives, innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails and asylums. Your telephone may jangle at any time of the day or night. Your wife may sometimes say she is neglected. A drunk may smash the furniture in your home, or burn a mattress. You may have to fight with him if he is violent. Sometimes you will have to call a doctor and administer sedatives under his direction. Another time you may have to send for the police or an ambulance. Occasionally you will have to meet such conditions.

7. What do we seldom do for the alcoholic? We seldom allow an alcoholic to live in our homes for long at a time.

8. What two reasons are stated for this? It is not good for him, and it sometimes creates serious complications in a family.

9. What should we do for the family of the alcoholic who doesn’t make it? Though an alcoholic does not respond, there is no reason why you should neglect his family.

10. How should we react to them? Though an alcoholic does not respond, there is no reason why you should neglect his family.

11. What should the family be offered? The family should be offered your way of life.

12. If they choose to adopt our Program as a way of life, what extra benefit might they realize? Should they accept and practice spiritual principles, there is a much better chance that the head of the family will recover.

Ii has been estimated that 85% of the alcoholics who drive their loved ones to Al-Anon will ultimately come to A.A. for help.

13. Even if the alcoholic isn’t successful in sobriety, what will happen for the family? And even though he continues to drink, the family will find life more bearable.

14. For the alcoholic who is able and willing to try our way of life, what is normally needed or wanted? For the type of alcoholic who is able and willing to get well, little charity, in the ordinary sense of the word, is needed or wanted.

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(Page 98)

1. Where are the ones who put emphasis on material help? The men who cry for money and shelter before conquering alcohol, are on the wrong track.

2. Yet, what do we do? Yet we do go to great extremes to provide each other with these very things,

3. What is the condition for doing so? when such action is warranted.

4. Is this inconsistent? This may seem inconsistent, but we think it is not.

5. What is the question to be answered before we give? It is not the matter of giving that is in question, but when and how to give.

6. Why is this so important? That often makes the difference between failure and success.

7. If our service is only of a material nature, what is the result? The minute we put our work on a service plane, the alcoholic commences to rely upon our assistance rather than upon God.

8. This leads them to what? (2 sentences) He clamors for this or that, claiming he cannot master alcohol until his material needs are cared for. Nonsense.

9. What hard lesson have some of us had to learn to be successful in sobriety? Some of us have taken very hard knocks to learn this truth: Job or no job - wife or no wife - we simply do not stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence on God.

10. What idea do we try to burn into the consciousness of every newcomer? Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone.

11. What is the single condition for success? The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house. (And help others!)

12. What domestic problems may the newcomer have? Now, the domestic problem: There may be divorce, separation, or just strained relations.

13. What is the first thing the alcoholic should do? When your prospect has made such reparation as he can to his family,

14. He should then explain what? and has thoroughly explained to them the new principles by which he is living,

15. Then what should he do? he should proceed to put those principles into action at home. What we do counts far more than what we say. Again, the emphasis is on our actions.

16. The above applies if he has a what? That is, if he is lucky enough to have a home.

17. Is the family normally free of faults? Though his family be at fault in many respects,

18. If faults do exist within the family, how should this affect the newcomer? he should not be concerned about that.

19. What should he concentrate on? He should concentrate on his own spiritual demonstration. What we do, not what we say will make the difference.

20. What must be avoided? Argument and fault finding are to be avoided like the plague.

21. Will this be easy to do for everyone? In many homes this is a difficult thing to do, but it must be done if any results are to be expected.

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1. If the family is able to forego arguments and fault-finding for a few months in the early days of recovery, what will happen? If persisted in for a few months, the effect on a man's family is sure to be great.

2. How about the really incompatible folks? The most incompatible people discover they have a basis upon which they can meet.

3. Little by little, what will happen? Little by little the family may see their own defects and admit them.

4. What positive thing can happen then? These can then be discussed in an atmosphere of helpfulness and friendliness.

5. What often happens after the family sees the effect of our Program on the alcoholic? After they have seen tangible results, the family will perhaps want to go along.

6. When will this happen? These things will come to pass naturally and in good time

7. Provided the alcoholic does what? provided, however, the alcoholic continues to demonstrate that he can be sober, considerate, and helpful, regardless of what anyone says or does.

8. Are all of us perfect at this? Of course, we all fall much below this standard many times.

9. What must we try to do? But we must try to repair the damage immediately lest we pay the penalty by a spree.

10. What about divorce or separation? If there be divorce or separation, there should be no undue haste for the couple to get together.

11. What must come first? The man should be sure of his recovery.

12. What should the wife understand? The wife should fully understand his new way of life. This is where the alcoholic’s sponsor has a primary responsibility to help the family understand what we must do to live sober. Too, we can encourage family members to attend Al-Anon.

13. If their relationship is to be successful, what must happen? If their old relationship is to be resumed it must be on a better basis, since the former did not work.

14. This will mean what? This means a new attitude and spirit all around.

15. Sometimes it is best to do what? Sometimes it is to the best interest of all concerned that a couple remain apart.

16. What rules apply here? Obviously, no rule can be laid down.

17. What must the alcoholic do? Let the alcoholic continue his program day by day.

18. What will become apparent to both parties if they apply this Program to their lives? When the time for living together has come, it will be apparent to both parties.

19. Let no alcoholic get by with saying what? Let no alcoholic say he cannot recover unless he has his family back.

20. Why? This just isn't so.

21. What may be true in some cases? In some cases the wife will never come back for one reason or another.

22. The newcomer must remember what? Remind the prospect that his recovery is not dependent upon people.

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1. What is our success dependent upon? It is dependent upon his relationship with God.

2. What does our experience prove? We have seen men get well whose families have not returned at all.

3. What else has others’ experience proven? We have seen others slip when the family came back too soon.

4. What must you and your protégé do? Both you and the new man must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress. We must remember that our spiritual progress is well defined by Bill. “For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead.” Pgs. 14 – 15

5. If you both stick with it, what will happen? If you persist, remarkable things will happen.

6. What has our experience shown us? When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God's hands were better than anything we could have planned.

7. If we follow the dictates of our Higher Power, what will happen? Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world,

8. That will be true regardless of what? no matter what your present circumstances!

9. When we are working with a new man and his family we must do what? When working with a man and his family, you should take care not to participate in their quarrels.

10. Why? You may spoil your chance of being helpful if you do.

11. Try to help the man’s family do what? But urge upon a man's family that he has been a very sick person and should be treated accordingly. Again, we are reminded why it is important that we try to be helpful to the alcoholic’s family.

12. What should they be warned against? You should warn against arousing resentment or jealousy.

13. What should we help the family understand? You should point out that his defects of character are not going to disappear over night.

14. Help them see what? Show them that he has entered upon a period of growth.

15. What should they, hopefully, remember? Ask them to remember, when they are impatient, the blessed fact of his sobriety.

16. If we have had domestic problems and found a solution for them what should we do? If you have been successful in solving your own domestic problems, tell the newcomer's family how that was accomplished.

17. What can this accomplish? In this way you can set them on the right track without becoming critical of them.

18. How important is the story of how my wife and I solved our problems? The story of how you and your wife settled your difficulties is worth any amount of criticism.

19. If we are spiritually fit, we can do what? Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do.
Truer words were never spoken.

20. People, who do not understand, say things like what? (a very long sentence) People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn't think or be reminded about alcohol at all.

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1. What does our experience show us? Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so.

2. What do we do every day? We meet these conditions every day.

3. What is wrong with the alcoholic who can’t do that? An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind;

4. What is not right? there is something the matter with his spiritual status.

5. What would be his only hope for staying dry? His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland Ice Cap,

6. Who might mess that up? and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin everything!

7. Would an Al-Anon endorse this last statement? Ask any woman who has sent her husband to distant places on the theory he would escape the alcohol problem.

8. What is one of our beliefs? In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure.

9. What happens when an alcoholic tries to keep away from drinking? If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but he usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever.

10. Is this a matter of opinion or experience? We have tried these methods.

11. Why is this so? These attempts to do the impossible have always failed.

12. So what is our rule? So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there.

13. What might that include? That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary whoopee parties. Whoopee parties were just get togethers for fellowship and fun. They were not for the purpose of “making whoopee.”

14. Would a potential Al-anon be comfortable with this? To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic,

15. What does our experience demonstrate? this may seem like tempting Providence, but it isn't.

16. What is the important qualification? (3 sentences) You will note that we made an important qualification. Therefore, ask yourself on each occasion, "Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place? Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere of such places?"

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1. If we come up with the right answers, what can we do? If you answer these questions satisfactorily, you need have no apprehension.

2. Do we really have a choice? Go or stay away, whichever seems best.

3. What two things must we be sure of? But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start and that your motive in going is thoroughly good.

4. What should be our motive if we do go? (2 sentences) Do not think of what you will get out of the occasion. Think of what you can bring to it.

5. If we are uncertain, what should we do instead? But if you are shaky, you had better work with another alcoholic instead!

Comment: Notice that the First 100 placed an “!” at the end of the preceding sentence. Also notice where these suggestions are given to us. We should have taken the Steps and started sponsoring alcoholics before trying to get back into the “normal” life.

And notice also, our Founders seemed to have a singular solution for any difficulties with which they might have been confronted. Work with another alcoholic was their primary solution and our Primary Purpose. We seldom hear that suggestion in our Fellowship and less seldom see it put into practice. That is one of the reasons our long term sobriety success rate is so very low.

Skip the first sentence of the paragraph.

6. If we do go, and it is a happy occasion, what should we do? If it is a happy occasion, try to increase the pleasure of those there;

7. If it is a business opportunity, we should do what? if a business occasion, go and attend to your business enthusiastically.

8. If a person wants to eat where booze is served, what should we do? If you are with a person who wants to eat in a bar, by all means go along.

9. What do we impress upon our friends? Let your friends know they are not to change their habits on your account.

10. Should we tell our friends about our alcoholism? At a proper time and place explain to all your friends why alcohol disagrees with you.

11. How will they react to the truth? If you do this thoroughly, few people will ask you to drink.

12. During our drinking days, we were doing what? While you were drinking, you were withdrawing from life little by little.

13. What are we doing now? Now you are getting back into the social life of this world.

14. What should we not do at this point? Don't start to withdraw again just because your friends drink liquor.

15. What is our job now? Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others,

16. We should never hesitate to do what? so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful.

17. We should never hesitate to do what? You should not hesitate to visit the most sordid spot on earth on such an errand.

18. If we try to “search out” and “go to” suffering alcoholics, to “carry” this message, what are we promised? Keep on the firing line of life with these motives and God will keep you unharmed.

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19. Do any of us keep alcohol in our homes? Many of us keep liquor in our homes.

20. What is the most important reason for doing so? We often need it to carry green recruits through a severe hangover

21. What do some recovered alcoholics do? Some of us still serve it to our friends provided they are not alcoholic.

22. How do some feel about liquor in their homes? But some of us think we should not serve liquor to anyone.

23. How do we argue this question? We never argue this question.

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