Hi all,
I am at a loss and don't really know where else to turn. My husband just came back from his second deployment and it was especially hard on both of us this time. We have been trying really hard since he got home (about three months now) and I just am not feeling the love I used to feel for him. I don't know if it will ever come back, and I feel like we are wasting our time trying to force something that is horribly broken. Am I just being to quick want to run away? Is this normal? Will we ever fall in love again? We have been married for 4 years and he has been deployed for two of them. I could really use some advice. Thanks.

Call Military One Source immediately. 1.800.342.9647

I agree that counseling will help you, whether you decide to stay in the marriage or not.

It can take time to "get to know one another again" after deployments. Some couples take longer than others to reintegrate. Don't judge yourself by others couples. Sometimes it looks like things are great on the outside, but it isn't so great at home in private.

If you can get your husband to agree to joint counseling that will help as well.



Mom

sgtmom- i would just like to let you know how truly wonderful i think you are. every thread i read...there's you saying something to help someone out. i've never met you but i do believe you're a very sweet, caring woman. i respect the things you say and i'd like to encourage you to continue to help the people out with the things they are going through. you are surely making a difference..and i just thought you'd like to know that

Military One Source is great! The Fleet & Family support centers can work wonders. Deployments are rough for all hands including the guys on deployment. Even if things don't work out, the help these folks provide will make it more sane for everyone!

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This message has been edited. Last edited by: sgtmom,

numbers, me thinks you are about to get banned from mil.com...........

quote:

Originally posted by Marinegal3:
sgtmom- i would just like to let you know how truly wonderful i think you are. every thread i read...there's you saying something to help someone out. i've never met you but i do believe you're a very sweet, caring woman. i respect the things you say and i'd like to encourage you to continue to help the people out with the things they are going through. you are surely making a difference..and i just thought you'd like to know that

Marinegal3, I gotta admit you brought me to tears. I don't hear this kind of thing often and it was very sweet of you to say that.


Mom

i've been there too< a chaplain in Germany once said to me..."it takes about as long as the deployment to find back to one another''

think about it, you had to create a new daily life when he was gone, you had to keep buisy to keep from the numbing pain of not being with your bestfriend .Just like he had to learn ''to depend'' on the guys around him to take care of him instead of you his wife--all these forced changes are hard to do first off and then just as hard to let go seeing how they become second nature--you love eachother- afterall you stood by and held down the homefort for 2 deployments & and he came HOME to you time n time again .
have you tried ''dating eachother"? just you and him? no phones,no dealine no shedule?
of course you both chnaged- you had to to stay saine!!
he was trained excessivley for his mission/s !
who trained you for yours? to hold down the home and carry on with out him until he returns?
belive me, i know it hurts and its alot of work- but thats the life of a Military Spouse_ we are just as vital to the military and honestly , i wouldn't want to miss it for nothing!! God bless and good luck to you both.

OMG I know what you mean. after my husband's first deployment, he changed soooo much. He is now deployed again and I don't know if it will work, but I am going to school and I focus on that and only that.

try talking to someone and maybe focusing on something else.

quote:

Originally posted by Marinegal3:
sgtmom- i would just like to let you know how truly wonderful i think you are. every thread i read...there's you saying something to help someone out. i've never met you but i do believe you're a very sweet, caring woman. i respect the things you say and i'd like to encourage you to continue to help the people out with the things they are going through. you are surely making a difference..and i just thought you'd like to know that

I absolutely agree!! thanks for everything you have done and are doing