Well, he's gone, and I miss him already. How am I going to do this for 12 months???? I know, keep busy, do this, do that, but never the less,
I MISS HIM. I love him so much and I just want him to be safe and come back to us.

This is going to be the hardest thing I've ever had to do, I'm just scared that I won't be able to do it. I want to be that superwoman, you know, strong, taking care of the kids, the house, etc. Right now I am scared to death that I won't be able to pull this off.

I know there are so many spouses that have done it and are doing it as we speak, but am I one of them, am I that strong?? He's my rock, my shoulder to cry on, he gives the best hugs. How do I go this long without his hugs, that's what keeps me together when I'm having one of those days and now I can't have that.

I'm sorry, I don't want to be that whiney, poor woe is me, I am a strong person, but I sure don't feel like it right now.

You will find out a lot about yourself during this deployment. One of those things is whether or not you are strong enough to deal with deployments. Hang in there, take a deep breath, and things will work out.


Sgt Mom

You'll be fine-honest-today will be one of the hardest days-and depending on the MOB station you should get to see him once before he leaves the country-they usually get a 4 day pass when they can come home or you can go where he is -i know im planning to go to ft hood when Snake gets his.
The day they actually leave for iraq will be hard-but the rest of the days you get into a routine-and time goes by-when you look back on it you realize it wasnt nearly as long as it sounded when you started out-and you will be amazed at how much you grow and achieve.

Mean while-im still working on that Family Assistance Center for you-the person i have to get the informatin from was at Annual Training and wont be back in the office til Tuesday.
Also please join http://forums.military.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/65600030713/m/4160046180001

That thread is the reservist/guard spouses thread-they are great and will give you tons of support-and understanding of you situation.
Julia

My husband just left on the 9th for a 15 month deployment so i know what you are going through. This is my DH first deployment with the Army, His last deployment was 20 years ago with the Navy.

so i feel like this is the first. i felt like you on the first day, it was very somber, not knowing how i will go on, you know being married 22 years and depending on him for the hugs and kisses and now they are gone really hurts.

But i know how to handle it, I have planned out what i will do to make the time go faster till i see him again. Like right now my oldest son (22) is home visiting me from GA (he just got home from Iraq, and was able to see his dad leave)So that helped me through these two weeks.

Next when he leaves My other 2 son's (18 and 13) are going to Massachuessetts to visit my family, we are taking a nice long road trip, so that will be great. Then when we get back school will begin, we will have Thanksgiving here, but Go to Florida for Christmas to visit my in-laws. After christmas My DH will arrive in Feb for R&R.

Now after that the next 7 months are not planned, but at least i have this far planned out.

I want to keep as busy as possible so i do not get depressed, im not saying i won't but it does help out to plan events to make the time go faster and not to worry so much. I have to be strong for my kids, there is no one else here that can be strong for them, they only have me now, If i fall apart who will they have?

So what i'm telling you is that you are stronger then you think, be there for your children and make plans, don't sit around and mope, take your kids to the movies, to the park, etc...Just keep busy. If you plan events with your children and follow through with them you will see how fast time will fly and right when you get to your last adventure your DH will be back home and in your arms, then you will say to yourself, Boy that was'nt as hard as i thought it would be

Thank you all so much, I'm feeling much better this afternoon. Somebody gave me an idea for my 7yr old to do. Get 2 glass jars, fill one up with 365 marbles, and each day(this will be his own project to do) he will take from one and put it in the other. He'll be in charge of it, so he likes that idea.

Once again, thanks for all the uplifting words and info.

I completely understand, my DH left a few days ago and I am stressing out. I keep thinking can I make, can I hold on and be as strong as he is. I take my hat off to those spouses that have been there and are going through it again.

I know that people keep saying stay busy and I even keep saying that the time will fly by, but honestly, I am not sure of anything right now. I am usually the one creating the routines and schedules in our household, but I am afraid that I am going to have a hard time setting them now because I am not focused. I just pray and pray and pray. I don't think of any negative thoughts because I truely believe deep in my heart that my DH will return safe. I am so glad that these boards are here for us to let our feelings out because my family and friends have NO idea what I am going through.

SgtMom is right , you will really find out a lot about yourself during your DH deployment - Im rolling past the 1/2 way mark of my DH's deployment and he will be home for R&R real soon - single digit countdown!! Not only will you find out about your own strengths but also your strength in your marriage, I never imagined that this time apart from my husband would really make me appreciate what I had - a true eye opener, I love him now more than ever and never thought I could love him anymore than I did.
Keep busy, pick up a hobby, enjoy your child and do your best to take care of yourself. And you know what, when you feel like staying in bed all day and have a poor me day - do it, there is nothing wrong with that (as long as your child is taken care of). Pamper yourself, go get your hair done, nails done something you normally dont do once in awhile. Have a feel good day, a you day! Believe me, just like any other person you will have your good days and your bad days. And if someone offers to help take them up on that offer. You will get through this and keep checking this site, cause a lot of what is posted on here can help you make it through a bad day, cause you will know you are never alone !

Oh and one more thing - when you finally get to talk to your DH, keep your chin up, even if you have to act, Dont let him see or hear you stress, He is probably just as scared and as stressed as you are and it will be refreshing to him to know that you are ok. He will be proud of your strength, and he will need your strength somedays after a long mission when he calls and just wants to hear your voice. Try to stay strong, he will be proud of you and when he tells you of how proud he is of you, that my dear friend will make you stronger!