Those of you who know me know that my husband has been gone on and off for months and it's not going to stop any time soon. Between his civilian job and the Marine Corps, he is gone alot. Well, I was talking to my mother yesterday, and in all of her compassion and wisdom she said, "Do you think he's cheating on you?"
AHHHHH.. If I get asked that question one more time I swear to GOD I'm going to go through the roof.

So I have devised a plan and I need your help. If you are as sick of the cheating stero-type as I am, please, help me out. I want to get a list of five thousand one things that our men do BESIDES cheating on us when they are gone. When I'm done I'm going to put it in an email and send it to EVERYONE who asks me if I think that my husband is cheating on me.

I know my husband better than anyone on this planet. I know he loves me, I know he is devoted to me, and I KNOW he is faithful to me. It's time for us to fight back on this cheating business.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: MJLAUER,

I'll start....

1. Go to a movie.

2. Play his x-box.

3. Look up gun stuff online.

4. WORK!

5. Go out to eat.

6. Get a bunch of guys together and watch the Little Mermaid (hey, it's been done).

7. Find a range near by and go shooting.

8. Work out at the gym.
9. Go swimming at the pool.
10. Play pool with some guys.
11. Bowling
12. Read sports magazines
13. Email his wife...

14. Listens to his MP3 player
15. Play cards with the guys
16. Go get a Blizzard at DQ
17. Go shopping for civvie clothes
18. Talk on the phone with wifie

19. run six miles
20. do 70 push ups in 2 minutes which leaves him too tired for nookie

21. Watch TV (where available)

22. Read a book.

23. Write letters to friends, family, and wife!

24. Look at all the beautiful pictures sent to him by his wife of her, his home and family.

25. Plan his future for when he gets home.

26. Study his MCI's.

27. Taking care of his team.
28. Open the packages from his loved one.
29. Think about how to propose his lady.
30. Just sleep and dream about his lady.

ok im going to put this...explicit or not its the truth im sure.

31. MASTURBATES.

1. Lift
2.work, work, work, work!!!!!
3.convoy up.
4.play his psp.
5.IM with me.
6.did I mention work????
7.Eat
8.read mt letters and cards.
9.wash his uniforms
10.sleep the little bit he gets to.
11.Hopefully think of me.

Good one busymommy..lol. I was going to leave that off, but since you mention it.. LOL...

43. Read all the "Eroctica" his wife can write for him!

44. LOOKS AT HIS FAMILY PICTURES!

45. Text messaging friends and family
46. Clean his dorm or house
47. Surfing the internet for the newest PS2 game or such
48. Playing computer games with his friend back home.
49. playing tennis
50. riding a bike on a bike trail
51. rest his brain from all his hard work

52. go to work (missions)
53. stand in line for awhile to eat
54. stand in line to talk on the phones
55. stand in line for the internet
56. 24 hour duty
57. read
58. re read the letters from home.

watch home made videos from me
Chat on AKO
Hunt down a location to get reception for phones
Listen to music on portable cd player
paperwork, paperwork
watching roads for IED's
meetings
daydream about us
plan all the things he wants to do when he gets home
mailing letters
mailing cards
mailing packages
shopping on the net
remembering every ones B-day, xmas, etc..
buying skateboards
reading on-line home newspaper
reading emais.....long ones

78. strip floors for waxing
79. wax and buff floors
80. Inventory weapons(that takes days alone!)
81. Take ALL tools out of Tool Room
82. Sort said tools
83. Reorganize and put back tools
84. Online schooling
85. Study for next Promotion
86. Call wife and kids
87. Workout for wife

88) cross stitch (yeah.....dont laugh...mine does.)

89) put together a puzzle
90) have lunch with the c.o.
91) read playboy at the px (u know they do)
92) shine their wedding rings. lol.
93) take pictures
94) sight see (were applicable)
95) try local food
96) play foot ball with unit
97) study local language.

1. sew on missing button and/or ripped uniform
2. shop for gifts from afar for his wife and kids
3. play catch with a baseball
4. plant grass/flowers and attend to it...yes, I've heard of them actually doing this! lol
5. plan mission
6. execute mission
7. come back from mission and eat gobs of hot chow
8. make home videos of the guys and send it to wife, who will cry while watching it
9. put together a list of things your wife must send RIGHT NOW!
10. impersonate each other...and laugh hystarically about it
11. mess with each others stuff just to see if the other notices before they get in trouble
12. look for cool gadgettes online to buy that would "make the job so much easier!"
13. wrestle with each other
14. pose for silly pictures
15. write counceling for his guys
16. make sure all equipment is in working order
17. turn in broken equipment for repair
18. wait forever to pick up repaired equipment
19. take it out and promptly break it again
20. buy uniform stuff and be disapointed that they're out of the T-shirt size needed....again
21. shower
22. change into non smelly uniform
23. turn in smelly uniform to be cleaned
24. get someone eles uniform back instead of your own and have to go back to retrieve the right one
25. chat with the new chaplain
26. mess with the new guy
27. learn history of local area
28. chat with locals
29. play ball with the local kids
30. escort small girls to school for the first time...smile knowing you are making history
31. ask for more candy to give the kids
32. volunteer with the chaplain at a orphanage
33. send wife flowers just to let her know you're thinking of her
34. call kids on their b-day and tell them how much you love and miss them
35. call at the crack of dawn and make fun of your brother for being older than pond scum on his 35th b-day

I'm playing to.
Things the wife does

1. Gets up at zero dark thirty to start the day.

2. Reads books

3. Reads letters from home , rereads the good ones

4. Calls as often as she can

5. Sends pictures home for her family

6. Sends the kids postcards / gifts

7. Does PT a lot

8. Finds time to sleep

9. Does laundry

10. Studies, studies and more studying

11. Watches a movie or 3 on her laptop with friends.

12. Asks for stuff from home

13. Asks if I can ship myself to her via UPS or USPS.

14. Declines offer of child shipment for some reason.

quote:

14. Declines offer of child shipment for some reason.

I can't seem to talk mine into taking them with him either! lol....

147. Promptly respond to C.O. screaming his name only to find out it's something entirely rediculous.

148. Do rounds to all of the vehicles in convoy to ensure that all of the radios are in working order.

149. Do preventative maintenance when applicable.

150. Send back to H&S for replacement parts for broken radios.

151. Yell at some Radio Op for mistreating his radio.

152. Watch stupid people have kem-light races (If you don't know what those are, don't ask).

153. Tell the new guy to go and buy kem-light batteries.

154. As the new guy is dutifully running off for kem-light batteries, yell after him they they are getting low on head-light fluid and that he needs to pick some of that up while he's gone too. Maybe some muffler barings as well.

155. Do some local shopping for trinkets and sovenieres.

156. Take some of the guys out to local bars.

157. Help guys home when they've had too much to drink.

158. Find someone to play chess with.

159. Play chess for hours at a time and start chess tornaments.

160. Clean rifle.

161. Clean rifle again.

162. Go around checking radios one more time.

163. Stock up on radio parts and equipment.

164. Stuff every pocket with radio parts and extra ammo (you never know when you are going to need either).

165. Sleep.

166. Pass out food boxes to locals.

167. Pose for new picture.

168. Write home to wife, but accidently mail her letter in mother's envelope.

169. Send another letter to wife and mother explaining the mix up and warning mother about contents of previous letter.

170. Pray that the mail is slow and that mother with get second letter before she gets first.

171. Refuse to participate in masturbation contest.

172. Dig holes.

173. Cover holes.

174. Dig more holes.

175. Listen to Marine complain because his computer got sand in it and no longer works.

176. Take apart Marine's computer, remove sand, check connections, get it working again.

177. Allow payment of two packs of cigarettes for fixing Marine's laptop.

178. Find out how disgusting local cigarettes taste.

179. Collect local currency and send it home to wife.

180. Shop for jewelry for wife.

181. Order new uniform.

182. Spend hours sowing on new name tapes by hand.

183. Attend promotion ceremonies.