I was wondering how everyone else keeps the intimacy with their spouse when they are deployed. My husband has been deployed since last spring and is set to return home this summer. This is his second deployment the first since we were married 3 years ago. We get to IM each other just about every day and he will generally call home once a week. Sometimes it just feels like the distance has really taken the newlywed feeling out of us. What do you all do to keep that spark alive?

how we keep the spark alive?? hmm let me see. using your imagination.. Everything is valid in marriage!!! haha i don't want to say a lot here..

well.. i'll be honest.
i frequently tell him in emails how attractive/sexy i think he is.. sometimes I'll devote an entire email to it (i make it loong) about all the things I love about him and think are attractive.. like, i'll say somethign about his eyes.. and go on for 3-4 sentences about them, then do that for each part of his body (yes.. each part..)

i send him cards frequently.. some are sweet about wanting to be held by him, etc. etc. (there are good card makers!)

also, i send fun sex-joke cards. they have them at the store, not 'bad' just funny...

I also send fun things in his care packages... underwear in a ziplock bag, gummy/candy handcuffs as a joke.. things like that.

also, i send him stories... he loves getting stories. everyone says your supposed to 'satisfy' your spouse in marriage.. but with them being gone we can't 'be' there.. so I (I am a writer) write sexy stories about us. Maybe based on past things, fun ideas, etc. There is also a website where you can go and you simply fill in the blanks and it will write a story for you (you can choose if you want it to be G, PG13, R, etc.) and it is simply about you and your spouse.. that is a great way.
My husband loves it and it really keeps the spark alive.

it's also fun to throw a surprising sentence into a phone conversation that will catch them off guard...
make them feel desired and I guarantee it will easily awaken a strong desire in them for you.

=)

If he has personal internet service....one word for you. Webcam Flashy, flashy now and then!

Stories are good too! Roll play with him...give him something to look forward to when he comes home!

I'll have to try to come up with some penthousetype storeies he'll get a kick out of those . He asked for a pair of panties in his next box so I went out and bought a real sexy pair for that. The webcam can be a bit tricky he has a room mate and I have four kids during the day (2 ours 2 that I watch) which is my only real chance to talk to him is in the mornings. It just seems like we could never keep our hands off each other and now all we have to talk about is bills and other stuff that just isn't *fun*. Thanks for the ideas if anyone else has any keep them coming.

Proudarmy....email message incoming to you!

Thanks BlondieLou, I'll make sure to have something fun waiting in my hubbys inbox when he gets back from work tomorrow.

LOL..Blondie..that reminds me of a story I have with my hubby. He'll have to get off the computer... and I tease him by twirling myself around on the chair with my butt perked in the air......Him having to go at that moment turns into 10 extra minutes before he literally has to get kicked off the computer.... Yea we still keep our intimacy...and I still got that power over him even countries away!!

Miriahw ~ I sent you an email through your profile!

OP ~ We also did phone "talking" but that may or may not work for everyone. When My then 5 year old walked in - that ended that.

You have been given some great idea's though!

Well I sent him one of the stories so I'm waiting to see how he enjoys it when he gets back to his room after work. Phone well he may get some funny looks in the phone hall since they don't have cells there. I guess the real key is just to stay creative. I am really looking forward to putting his valentines box together sending him lots of little goodies to tease him til he can come home to use them.

=) Good! I'm excited for you. That honeymoon feeling is going to be sparking really soon!

I sent Andy a semi-dirty calendar of pix of me in all kinds of stuff! The biggest thing is to use ur imagination! trust me all guys think about a lotta stuff u'd never think they do...but they do...so just use ur imagination and they will thank u for it!

I've sent panties sprayed w/ my perfume in a ziplock baggie! I made a really small scrapbook of sexy but tastefull pix and he keeps it under his pillow.

Make them a keychain w/ one of those lil plastic pic holders and send them a lil pic in it of u in sumthing that he loves to see on u...maybe in one of his shirts! And then they can carry it with them and pull it outta their picket when they need a peek!

Like Blondie said...WEBCAMS!!! this is Andy and my fave way to keep things fiery. It doesn't hafta be much just a little peek! Like turn around and bend over to "pick something up" (Andy is an a$$ man...so he loves that one!)

Go to the website that u just fill in blanks and it sends R or X rated stories...Andy loves those!

Write entire letters on what you want when he gets home! he'll hold you to them!

Me and Andy get kinda wild so if you have any questions, just email me!!! We haven't gotten bored since!!! And i have lots and lots of good ideas!!!

My hubby can't do the whole "webcam" thing so we improvised. I have a digital camcorder...so I make "movies" for him on a DVD and then he can watch them on his little personal DVD player. I also send letters, they're nice surprises that he really enjoys. Most important of all, have fun with getting to be as creative as you want. I enjoy it and my hubby enjoys it and it works! Take care.

Well lets just say the story email was a big hit.

HELP! I am so excited about sending one of these little stories (picking rated R) but I cant seem to find them anyplace?

quote:

Originally posted by Steohf17:
HELP! I am so excited about sending one of these little stories (picking rated R) but I cant seem to find them anyplace?

Email coming at ya!

Webcams definitely help! I try to look sexy for dbf and, I think, even just the way you sit on your chair can be provocative. I like to sit with a shoulder leaning towards the cam. Experiment, and you can see what I mean.

I have really long hair, and often, I will lean back casually and run my fingers through my hair. DBF loves it when I toss my hair around, but I will act innocent ... like I just so happened to do it.

I will also surprise him by wearing boy short panties and a tank top while talking to him on webcam. I'll tell him I need to get up for a second to grab a drink of water...make some excuse to get up...and slowly turn sideways and then around...so he gets a good view.

Also, when I am waiting for him to reply sometimes, I will sit back in my chair and raise my legs up sexily, sometimes turning to the side and bringing my knees to my chest. .Other times, I will extend my legs all the way up ... acting like I'm just "stretching my legs"...LOL...so he gets a view of my thighs and legs. DBF knows I am teasing, but it's fun...and we both get a kick out of it.

If you have a webcam, experiment with different positions. You'd be surprised at how something so simple can be so tantalizing ... and have them wanting more. I took pole dancing lessons before, and this is where I learned a lot of little "tricks".

Holy crap, I gotta get out of here

powerofprayer= i think that is soo great that you do that!! you must be size 2!!! if i did that i would fall out of my chair...then he would get a good laugh!!!he can see me, but i cant see him . He will ask "can i see the twins"!!! . Gee gotta love technology!!!

quote:

Originally posted by rubbutter:
powerofprayer= i think that is soo great that you do that!! you must be size 2!!! if i did that i would fall out of my chair...then he would get a good laugh!!!he can see me, but i cant see him . He will ask "can i see the twins"!!! . Gee gotta love technology!!!

rubbutter: I am definitely not a size 2! I wish! -LOL- Girl, experiment! I'm sure your dh thinks ur sexy -- and, he obviously loves "the twins". Girl, work what you got! That's what I say!

Turn on your cam to see how you look. Surprise your dh by fixing your hair and putting on some lip gloss. Type something sexy to him and, when he replies, bite your lip as you read it. He will love your reaction.

Move slowly, turn your head to the side and glance up at the w/cam. Blow a slow, sexy kiss to him and then raise one shoulder towards the camera (like a shoulder shrug). Little things that like...drives my dbf crazy.

I really believe that, when it comes to being sexy, a little goes a long way. Wear a low-cut top for your hubby, offering up just a teasing view of your cleavage. Maybe, as you're talking to him, casually finger a pendant or necklace, drawing attention to your chest. Oh! I know!!! Wear a sexy cropped jacket...and nothing underneath with a string of pearls (costume jewelry works just fine). As you talk to him, flash him when he least expects it ... but, do it slowly...teasing him. Work the shoulders a lot ! Watch yourself in a mirror or on cam, so you can be ready to "perform" for your dh when the time comes!

Once, dbf had a friend in his room, and he was trying to answer some questions while I waited. I had a grand time flashing him my boobs as he tried to keep a straight face while talking to his friend.

And, btw, I still worry about falling on my butt, too! Sometimes, I will wear sexy shoes for dbf and stand up and twirl around a bit. I always worry about slipping on the tiles and making a fool of myself!

But, really, girl. I am sure your dh would love anything that you do. He obviously thinks you're sexy already, so don't feel self-conscious!