I have noticed a lot of new folks coming here and asking "How do you do it?". Well here is some interesting reading.

From Military.com

Deployment: How To Cope With Sudden Deployments
Getting the call that your spouse or family member will be deploying suddenly, whether it's for two weeks or two days, can leave you emotionally drained. As military family members, we always know it's possible, but when the time comes, that doesn't make it any easier.

Everyone deals with deployments differently, and every deployment is different. Some are easier than others, but no two ever seem to run the same course. If you feel you need an extra boost, these coping strategies can help get you though the weeks ahead.

Set Goals:

What would you like to accomplish before your servicemember returns? Decide on something meaningful to you, such as completing a college course or an exercise program, or putting extra money into your savings account. It will raise your spirits and give you something to work toward.

Keep a Schedule:

Stay busy -- this can make the time fly by. Keep as close as possible to the same routine you followed before the deployment. This may be challenging at first, but can be the best way to keep you and your children in sync. If you have moved back with family or have just relocated, set a new schedule that you can manage without overdoing it.

Cyndi Betts, a Navy spouse, found that keeping busy with planned outings for her children has worked wonders: "When they tell me that they miss their Daddy, I remind them of all the fun things they'll be able to show him when he comes home."

Treat Yourself:

You deserve it. Reward yourself with simple pleasures when you've passed a one-month milestone in the deployment - an afternoon break from childcare (), a salon haircut, or an evening out with a good friend. It's a way of reminding yourself: "I've done great!"

Reach Out to Others:

Military families know there's always someone in our extended family who can relate to what we're going through. Attending a family support group or squadron family day, or enroll in a free online deployment class. Ask your Navy Ombudsman or Marine Corps Key Volunteer if they know of another family member looking for support. Form a buddy system with someone you trust and can confide in. Listening to someone else's experiences can provide reassurance that you're not alone.

Leah Gianinni, a Marine Corps spouse, explains how reaching out to others has been a wonderful outlet during the tough times: "They helped me see beyond the sad feelings when it was difficult for me. By confiding in others, I found many positive things that I never realized."

Planning for the Blues?

Yes, realizing that you're human can be half the battle. It's normal to have days when you feel energetic and ready to tackle anything. Then there'll be others when crawling under the covers seems like the best bet. Understand that those days will happen -- sometimes when you least expect it -- but that they will pass.

Stick to the Truth:

Gossip and rumors can hurt. Rely only on official word from the command, ombudsmen, or key volunteers. The military is ever changing, and a situation that applies to one person may not be true for another. Remember -- if you hear something that you suspect is a rumor, don't pass it on. You might also consider limiting coverage of controversial news reports about the military if it tends to heighten your concerns.

Deployment: How To Cope With Sudden Deployments

Grant

This message has been edited. Last edited by: CivSAR,

Good stuff Grant. I'll see that and add another.

www.myarmylifetoo.com

Wow thanks guys, even for someone like who has been waiting for the love of my life to come home now for about a year and half..this a good bit of reading. Funny how you forget some things. Grant I read in another post that you have to say goodbye again. Just want to say I'm so sorry for you and your wife. I wish you guys luck and I hope the time passes nicely. Thanks for being so strong.

quote:

I read in another post that you have to say goodbye again.

Not again...This is our first deployment. Just learning as I go. Thanks for the kind words!

Life's a dance
You learn as you go
Sometimes you lead
Sometimes you follow
Don't worry 'bout what you don't know
Life's a dance you learn as you go.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: CivSAR,

getting ready for our first deployment as well. Not looking forward to it, but appreciate the advice.

Bump

I am not sure about any other branches but...for the ARMY....ARMY ONE SOURCE IS WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had to contact them regarding counseling for my husband and myself. They have sent me two large envelopes FULL! cd's full of everything from couples relationships, children and deployment, to coping with stress and anger. Books, CD's I got the sesame street depoyment dvd...tons of stuff!

My spouse and I *just* started our first 179 day deployment. This is his second deployment and this is my first.
Most people have told me is to keep busy and take it one day at a time, at this very moment I feel very helpless.
I don't drive, and I don't work anymore (talk about feeling a bit useless) so it's hard to keep busy when the most you can do is sit at home. Luckly his family cares and they want to send me things to keep me busy (like puzzles and jsut things that i can do to pass time) but if anyone has any ideas on things that I can do from home to make the time pass a little bit day by day..instead of it feeling like I'm watching the calender and the clock, that would be awesome.
And for those who have done deployments before, does you spouse have to stay longer even if they say it's in lets say, march, will they come home in april? Because my spouse and I said pray from march, but aim for april. I'm very new to the military life and I don't know much about it.
Any input would be nice. Thank you.

Hi Grant, thank you for the website. It's my second deployment, but it always helps to read about 'how to cope ...' Hope you're doing fine too. I sent you a short email yesterday to thank you.

Thanks for asking. I'm doing good. Still adjusting to her absence.

I do NOT get my email when sent via my profile. You can email me at civsar@wavecable.com

quote:

Originally posted by CivSAR:
Thanks for asking. I'm doing good. Still adjusting to her absence.

I do NOT get my email when sent via my profile. You can email me at civsar@wavecable.com

Hmm, then I guess you didn't get the email I sent in response to yours last week? Another email incoming to the above address

Well, we are doing the 10th deployment since '91 and that does not include various work-ups, dets and so forth.

As the spouse of someone hitting retirement summer of '07 I can tell you - you CAN do this! There will be times when you think you can't go another day doing this, but you can and you do.

We do it because we love them so much we can't imagine not having them in our lives. So, we do this and get through one more deployment, one more det, one more TDY, or one more work-up.

Breathe, just breathe. One more minute, one more hour, one more day, one more week, one more month, one more year.

Then he we are looking at retirement! Yikes - when the heck did that happen???!!! The years have flown by, the kids are grown, and we have a new adventure in front of us.

I know many of you are on the uphill side of things with the military - but you can do this, and you will get through it. Then you will be like me looking back and wondering where the time went.

Sgt Mom

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good blogs

don't let this one disappear like the COTS and chips and dip did

thanks

bump

Here's my fave saying when pep=ople ask me that....
You ask me How I do it.....
I ask you,What other life is worth having?

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So dude (with the mullet hair! )

Sticky this bad boy!