I'm a college student and have signed up for Air Force ROTC in January. I would like to become an officer to serve my country and gain experience so I can have a more hands-on resume. I am willing to put in the hard work to lead but there's one issue: I'm bisexual.

By bisexual, I mean in the sense that I'm attracted to men as much if not more so than women. I'm rather private about it as well; I would never just "come out" to people I don't know. If you're a friend and ask, I'd tell you. And I don't hit on just any guys, especially guys in the military. I would definitely keep my personal life separate from work.

But DADT worries me; I really don't know if I can enjoy and excel in my work if I'm not able to be myself. What if I find a man that I have a connection with? I don't know how I could just ignore my feelings. I've had them for as long as I can remember.

It seems that DADT will be repealed soon, at least by the time I commission which would be in 2 years from now. The reason I would be more comfortable if it were repealed is that if someone did discover a male-male relationship I had, I wouldn't be punished just for me expressing my feelings. But I don't know if Congress and Obama will really get rid of this policy. I just want personal happiness along with this dream job of mine; is that so wrong?

Any suggestions?

Well Zan, there are pros and cons.

Personally, I believe that anyone who is capable and has the desire to serve, should. I did five years on submarines myself.

Now, as for being bisexual. I can't really say one way or the other, that is something you have to decide for yourself. I knew service members who were homosexual, bisexual, heterosexual, and a few I think were asexual...

Some served honorably, some did not. Some were fairly open about their persuasion, others were not. If you were to join today, obviously, DADT still applies. It may or may not get repealed, only time will tell.

Let me tell you about three people I knew.

#1) Homosexual, did one hitch, and then got out because he wanted to move on with his relationship with his SO. He served honorably, most of us either knew or suspected he was homosexual, and did not care because he did his work well.

#2) Heterosexual, discharged under DADT because he became very vocal about being a homosexual...and was married to his girlfriend less than a month after he was discharged... I do not consider that honorable service.

#3) Homosexual, discharged under DADT, when he was discovered in active ...err... relations with his SO in the parking lot of the exchange. He did his work well, but did not maintain a low profile. He paid the price for that unfortunately, as we lost a damned fine sailor.

You have a few options. You can put personal relations on hold for a bit and do a tour or two, or even a whole career. You can maintain a low profile with your relationships and serve, but accept the potential of being discharged under DADT. You can try for a civilian side job as a contractor. You can decide to not serve in any capacity. Lastly, you can wait a bit and see if DADT gets repealed and then join up.

In the military there are basically a few views on homosexuality/bisexuality. Those who do not like homosexuals/bisexuals. Those who do not care one way or the other. Those who only care about the work getting done promptly and correctly, sexual orientation be damned. Those who support open homosexuals/bisexuals serving.

Noone here can tell you to sign up or not to. You have to make that call. There are several members here at military.com that previously served or are currently serving who are homosexual or bisexual. Maybe some of them can give you a better idea of what it is like from that perspective. I can only go by what I saw as a heterosexual who only wanted the work done right and on time.

No matter your choice, I wish you the best of luck.

quote:

Originally posted by Zan11:
I'm a college student and have signed up for Air Force ROTC in January. I would like to become an officer to serve my country and gain experience so I can have a more hands-on resume. I am willing to put in the hard work to lead but there's one issue: I'm bisexual.

By bisexual, I mean in the sense that I'm attracted to men as much if not more so than women. I'm rather private about it as well; I would never just "come out" to people I don't know. If you're a friend and ask, I'd tell you. And I don't hit on just any guys, especially guys in the military. I would definitely keep my personal life separate from work.

But DADT worries me; I really don't know if I can enjoy and excel in my work if I'm not able to be myself. What if I find a man that I have a connection with? I don't know how I could just ignore my feelings. I've had them for as long as I can remember.

It seems that DADT will be repealed soon, at least by the time I commission which would be in 2 years from now. The reason I would be more comfortable if it were repealed is that if someone did discover a male-male relationship I had, I wouldn't be punished just for me expressing my feelings. But I don't know if Congress and Obama will really get rid of this policy. I just want personal happiness along with this dream job of mine; is that so wrong?

Any suggestions?

There are THOUSANDS of gay/lesbian/bisexual persons serving honorably in the military. I see NO reason why you could not so long as you do as these thousands of others do and abide by the provisions of the UCMJ (Uniform Code of Military Justice).

21194237, surely you know that gays and lesbians have to abide by far stricter rules and regulations of conduct than simply following the UCMJ. DADT requires a helluva more than that. After all, even heterosexuals violate article 125 of the UCMJ routinely. The UCMJ is the least of the hassles gay, bisexual and lesbian service members have to live under in order to serve their country.

quote:

Originally posted by dupontgaf:
21194237, surely you know that gays and lesbians have to abide by far stricter rules and regulations of conduct than simply following the UCMJ. DADT requires a helluva more than that. After all, even heterosexuals violate article 125 of the UCMJ routinely. The UCMJ is the least of the hassles gay, bisexual and lesbian service members have to live under in order to serve their country.

And, surely you'd agree that ANY violations of regulation(s) ought to be prosecuted equally? I've never suggested that heteros be given quarter in that regard. Still, military service is voluntary and those who decide to play the game know the rules beforehand.