quote:

Originally posted by m551sheridan:
T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house
the only ones stirring was Santa, and that frigging old mouse.........
Down the hallway old Nick went to go to the john
only to find all the TP was gone.
So down the stairs and out the back door he went
through 12 inches of new snow to the outhouse to vent.
Little did he know that after he got there and sat
that all he had to wipe with was that silly red hat.
He vowed right then and there he'd get who was to blame
he'd teach those damn elves to play frigging asswipe games.
So down into the hole did his favorte hat go while tears ran down his cheeks
and onto the snow...............

DAMMMIT he said, I really had to go I hate when those elves play this kind of stuff
So he puffed and he got mad and he huffed
He didnt like it, not one little bit
Making me go outside to take a shnit

They think they can do this and get away
I am Santa by God they will pay
So reindeer come and rudolf you to
I want you all shnit in there shoes

Wait till the morning firsts light
The whole elve barracks will smell a fright
So dont mess with santa you little jerks
NOW off your azzes and get back to work.

now in the spirit of the season let us all "add" something to this classic..... who's next?

Ray, American Military Supporter.

My being insane, is what makes other people normal.

quote:

A Different Christmas Poem



The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,

I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.

My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,

My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.



Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,

Transforming the yard to a winter delight.

The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,

Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.



My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,

Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.

In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,

So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.



The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,

But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.

Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know, Then the

sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.



My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,

And I crept to the door just to see who was near.

Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,

A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.



A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,

Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.

Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,

Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.



"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,

"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,

You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"



For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,

Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..

To the window that danced with a warm fire's light

Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,

I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."



"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,

That separates you from the darkest of times.

No one had to ask or beg or implore me,

I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.


My Gramps died at ' Pearl on a day in December,"

Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."



My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ' Nam ',

And now it is my turn and so, here I am.

I've not seen my own son in more than a while,

But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.



Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,

The red, white, and blue... an American flag.

I can live through the cold and the being alone,

Away from my family, my house and my home.



I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,

I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.

I can carry the weight of killing another,

Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..



Who stand at the front against any and all,

To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."

"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,

Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."



"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,

"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?

It seems all too little for all that you've done,

For being away from your wife and your son."



Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,

"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.

To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,

To stand your own watch, no matter how long.



For when we come home, either standing or dead,

To know you remember we fought and we bled.

Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,

That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."