Son is in AIT and having some major problems. He wants out. We just don't think we can do anything for him. We have contacted his recruiter and also told our son to speak to the chaplain. He just wants out. He is sounding to me like he is having some emotional problems along with failing some tests. What kind of answers can we give him if any. All he does is call and say he can't take it any more. He has his mind on going to Iraq and can't seem to shake it. He just says he hates it there and it is just not for him. Please advise us. We are totally new to this. Thanks so much.

He wants to go to Iraq or not? cant tell from your post, if he cant hack the bs now at ait he wont last in Iraq. If he wants out because he doesnt want to go to Iraq why the hell did he join? we dont get to pick our battles.

Saw your profile, we live in Arkansas as well. No, he doesn't want to go to Iraq. But he says that is only part of his problem. He just says he doesn't want to be there anymore. He hates it and should have never joined. I wish I knew exactly why the hell he did join. It was 2 weeks after high school graduation and maybe he had something to prove. Or maybe he wanted a more secure career. Or maybe he thought he could hack it. I don't know. I think it was a combination of all of those things. I do know that some can't hack it. I am sure he isn't the only young person that can't. Or maybe he has just set his mind on not doing it even if he could. I know that I can't do much for him now, but I would like to know if there is a way for him to get out that he would go about it in the "proper" way. As a parent, I would like to know that he could complete what he has begun, but that is not always the case, no matter what we would like for them to do. I just have to state my position and hope he chooses wisely. Here in the civilian world or in the military. My husband and I greatly respect what the military has done and are doing, but we also know that it isn't for everyone. That is just a fact. I explained to him what I thought he should do, but he will do what he wants. I wish he could succeed in his chosen course, but if not, I would like to be able to support him correctly. Not with handholding, but with proper advise and not with humiliation. If you or anyone can help me it would be appreciated. We know that this will probably just have to run its course and that whatever will be will be. Thank you for your response.

this probably wont be the popular reply but here goes, first the army is probably one of the most helpful places to get himself help. maybe not in ait but if he gets to his regualr unit there will be alot of help open to him. AIT is NOT the army at all, i would guess his ait has been long? that is probably not helping his outlook much. you could contact your congressman/senitor they have a deticated military affairs person they may be able to help. we had 4 out of 18 people go awol from ait they all left then made arrangements to return (befor 30 days) and they were all chaptered for failer to adapt to army life. there time upon return wasnt the best they get extra duty but they were all gone within a month. o but he will probably have to pay back his pay. . . if he fails out of ait twice he could also be discharged. We also had 2 people that kepting going to people wanting "out" that stuck it out and eventually adapted sucessfully. My advice would be to man up a little grow up a little suck it up and try his best. i know from 18 to 22-23 i was a totally different person and grew up alot. its sometimes very hard to see the end of his ait but life is way better on the other side. his biggest mistake could be getting out now and wanting back in in 6-9 months maybe a year or 2 cause it wont happen with any service. iraq isnt the end of the world either i am facing my first deployment within a month alot of the people in charge (nco's, what will be his "boss's") have been there at least once and will take very good care of him every way they can all he has to do is try hard and they will lead the way.

Thank you for your quick response. I thoroughly agree with your thoughts. I know that this too will pass, and that he should probably stay and learn. No harm has come to him so far. He is actually far luckier than most of us on the outside. Rent, payments, bills and children. He has none of those things to contend with yet. I tell him that often. Maybe he will get into another class soon and get into another mindset that will change his outlook. I dunno. I will just be here for him and try to talk him through whatever decision he makes. I so much appreciate your time. Good luck and God bless you wherever life takes you. Thanks again.

Hi Army Mom,

My son is there right now, too. He's 18 - Morgan in Charlie 447. Maybe your son just needs some buddies that will help him stick it out. My son did say there seem to be a lot of stupid things going on. That can drive you nuts sometime.

The FOB was "very taxing" and "scared the crap out of me" - my son's words. He also said that "nothing could have prepared me for what we went through in the FOB." He went to Benning for BT, which is supposed to be one of the toughest, and he said that nothing at Benning prepared him for the explosions while he was sleeping, etc. Also his Sgt was punished by making him crawl through the sand box thing, which seemed a really big deal. Maybe your son had a tough time and lost (got killed) at the FOB, and that really scared him. My son's whole unit got wiped out once. Just trying to give insight into what he may have been through and reacting to.

I know what you mean about giving the best advice you can and then supporting him. It's best that he finish and take seriously the promise he made. He will be a better person for it. From what I've read and heard - AIT is not military life. If he can just get through it. It's a short time compared to the whole of life. It's hard as a Mom to watch though.

As I pray for my son, I'll pray for yours, too.

(I don't know why I'm showing up as a number, my screen name is morganfam7.)

This message has been edited. Last edited by: 12300677,

He's just sucking because he's in AIT. He'll be happy as hell when he gets to his regular unit.

Just tell him everything is fine, and everything will be OK!

AIT and BCT can really mind-**** you. He'll be a better person after serving! Like it has already been said :-)

Got to agree with everyone else too. Tell him that life will be greener on the other side. When I joined, I was Signal also, I was 18 and had never before been away from my mom and dad until this experience. I was scared and nervous because I never really had to make choices and I was on my own for the first time. And it was a completly different world. But, once I got to my first duty station and I saw how relaxed the enviroment was, I was happy I sucked it up. It was the best four years of my life.

Thanks everyone. I know that sticking it out will help him in so many ways. His dad and I are both in agreement that coming back this soon after not completing his ait and seeing life on the other side, would be a mistake. I just don't think he could get it together here either. Not yet anyhow. He is meeting with the Chaplain today and maybe that will help him. Sure couldn't hurt. Thanks again.

Well, I am happy that he will be seeking advice from the Chaplain. Hopefully, like you said, talking to him/her will help a bit. Everyone adapts to military life differently and for some, it just takes a little bit more time to make the adjustment. All the best to you and your son.

is he at ft gordon? reason why your posting in the sig forum?

if he's at gordon, and does get a chaper, he will be there for 10x longer than he will ever want to. i saw some chapters spend 2 years of their contract waiting at ft gordon just to get chaptered. still waiting maybe.

best way to get out is to finish the bull ****, then poke smot their after. its considered a general discharge for medical reasons, and it take about a month to get out -depending-. and how the army has ****ed itself, the general turns into honorable after so long.

good luck, and i hope he doesnt come to germany.

lol, wow, amazing at the level of Turds in the military

You should definitely encourage him to stay. If he quits he will always have the memory of it in the back of his mind.

I would say encourage him to stay. My hubby is there now and he hates it too. I think they all hate it at one time or another. Your son will be a-okay.

Your son isn't going through anything that most Soldiers haven't experienced, especially during their first year in the Army. Homesickness, anxiety over combat, strange places, a very different lifestyle than what he is used to at home.

All of this should pass with time, it is part of the process of becoming a Soldier. Once he gets the hang of his training, makes some friends, and gets over his self doubt he will probably be fine. I used to have this problem all the time with my students. 99% of them adjusted just fine with a little guidance.

Mam,i have been on both sides of you son wanting out..I have been a recurtier,I taught at Ft Gordon and I was the operations nco for C-447, and i did a little time as 1SG their..So what i am bout to say is i have seen it from all sides.. tell your sone their is life after Ft Gordon stick with it..Do his time,their are people their to talk to..who knows maby he wont get sent to Iraq..I am a nam error gi and i got sent to germany..mater of fact in 20 yrs every time their was a war the sent me the other way..good luck to you and your son please let me know what happends

RangerDoorKnob -

Don't post negative comments on this thread. Sounds like you are just emulating your response. Private profile tells me nothing, so keep your comments to your private profile.

Blue Skies

I am one as well that wanted to just up and quit right in the middle of a.i.t. and I was at Fort Gordon, 1987, but I knew deep down if I did do something to get out, or get kicked out, I had a real deep feeling I would regret it, so I stuck it out, it wasn't easy, but once I moved on to Airborne school it only got tougher, but thank God that only lasted three weeks then that to passed, but all in all, try to talk him into hanging in there, in the long run he will be glad he did, but if he doesn't, I will betcha he will deeply regret it.

Tell 'em to HANG!

He will understand that slang.. Thust me..

quote:

Posted Mon 29 January 2007 15:16 Hide Post
I am one as well that wanted to just up and quit right in the middle of a.i.t. and I was at Fort

well said if you quit you have to look at yourself each morning in the mirror

I had enlisted as an 11B near the end of 2005 but got out at Airborne School. It wasn't me, basically some bad crap happened in my family and I knew I was not going to be able to concentrate at all for my job, I was going crazy.

Many soldiers say they can do their job because they know their family is safe at home, well let's just say with my family that wasn't quite the case. Anyhow, I was going through some major depression while in so I went and talked with the chaplain and told them I wasn't B.S.ing them with what I was saying, I wasn't trying to make some stupid excuse to get out of the Army because I was afraid of Iraq or deployment, just because of some things that had happened, I couldn't handle it right now.

They sent me then to the hospital to talk with an Army doctor, etc...well anyhow they let me go.

IMO, if your son is just homesick and scared of Iraq, I'd tell him he just has to man up, if he can't handle it because of his own reasons he will run from stuff his entire life. Make sure he knows you care, but tell him he has to handle this stuff. And if he hates the training, GOOD!

Army training only looks fun in the movies, in reality it sucks the big one, you are freezing, or super hot, or hungry, or tired, or un-showered (Infantry training anyway!) etc...it toughens you up and really makes you respect your freedoms.

On the other hand, if he has some real legit problems, then tell him he needs to seek help for that, and even then, he can still stay in. He can request an MOS change or something or just get some counseling or whatever. The Army would be more willing to let him change jobs probably rather than let him go.

If his problem is so bad he does need to get out, well I think they would let him.

He can re-join again I think if let go, my discharge papers say I can re-join again after two years if I want to (which I do intend to do.

My main problem was family. My mom got a heart problem and then rhumetoid arthritis (which for those who don't know, will cripple you in the long run), and well my dad is no good, he has no money. My aunts and uncles are no good, my one aunt tried to attach my mother's salary to hers. My sister is good, but she is not the type you "leave to command the ship when all h*ll breaks lose," so to speak.

Another problem is my dad we found out stole $25,000 from the IRS and the IRS decided to come after my mom for it (long story there, my mom signed years back when she thought she could trust my father).

My family isn't upper-class or anything and my mom doesn't have a retirement right now either, and I was an Infantryman. I was flipping out because I was scared sh**less I'd lose a limb or something in Iraq or both legs or something and then my family would have to take care of me and that could break my mom big-time right now. Or that I would be killed and everything would fall on my sister, and like I said she is good but not made of steel.

I joined the Army to protect my family from terrorists, but with this stuff, I was not going to be able to do my job, so I explained it all to the Army and they let me go. I want to make sure that if I go to war and get disabled, my family is plenty safe and secure, which right now they aren't.

I did graduate Infantry training though, I went for help at Airborne School. There were some strange guys who couldn't hack the training. One was a 31 year-old man who cried every night because he missed his wife. Another guy was a PRISON GUARD who couldn't hack it for depression reasons, etc...tell your son if he is having big problems, to wait until he hits the real Army; I cannot say squat about the real Army as I was not in it, but once out of training he will get far more freedoms and everyone I have heard says "Training is not the Army." We had a guy who was re-classing to Ifnantry in the training and he told us constantly, "Guys, this is NOT what life is like in the Army!"

Training is like a prison (at least when I went through) and a lot of guys just feel incredibly trapped, if that is how he feels, just tell him he will get most of his freedoms back after graduating.

To be honest, I miss the Army right now, there was a real sense of comraderie there, so tell him to think things through. If he is just scared, he will be fine in the long run I am sure and have a good time. Ask him to really think things through. On the flip side, if he has a legit problem, he needs to get out, so like said, think it through.