Hi, Lets just jump straight to the point i'm a 22 year old male and I have a 2 year old daughter im not married yet but my girlfriend is a SGT in the army reserve, not to long ago she went active-AGR and we had to move to a new state which made things kinda hard for me because I dont know people nor do I know the area, and trying to find a job is way harder then I thought due to the schedule I have to work around, We put our daughter in daycare from 8am-4pm (the best times we could find with the military subsidy program) which only leaves me with a total of 6hrs a day for work from 9am-3pm and I cant find any jobs open for that time range, not only that but moms gets off late and often has to go out of state for weeks on top of weeks to do required assignments, which leaves me with the pampering job 16/7. Dont get me wrong I love my family but I want to be the one doing all the work. My plan was to move down here and go to school in the morning and work at night but thing got alot lopsided on me. So please, if theres any information that might be helpful to me please let me know so I can stop graying so early. Thanks a lifetime

Well, you are going to have to find daycare with better hours than that. Most are open 6-6 or 7-6 or something resembling that.

And yes, when you are married to someone who has odd hours, unexpected schedule changes, and tdys or trips out of town, you really have to find a job that fits the hours of the daycare or find a daycare that fits the hours of your job and expect to be the one who is responsible for dropping off and picking up your child before the daycare closes.

That's just how it is. If you want more flexibility you will probably need to find a nanny or a home daycare provider who is flexible with hours.

editing to add that I do understand it is a pain when you have plans to work or go to school and they get derailed/sidelined/postponed. There are LOTS of military spouses who have run into this situation and have made career changes, decided to stay at home with the kids, or have gone to school online. My original response was a bit terse and I wanted to let you know there are many others who have experienced similar frustrations.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: mmt4,

Mod hat off:


Welcome to being a parent.

A time when many parents, especially women, put their careers & education on hold to make sure that the child is #1. If it means only working part time or taking a few classes then so be it. If it means not spending money on day care but instead staying at home, then so be it. Just because you are a man, doesn't mean that you have to be the one doing all the work. There is lots of options out there now for SAHD (Stay at Home Dad) whether it is taking a class or two online, only working part time, or sitting in front of the TV, watching soap operas and eating bon bons as so many people think we do at home. Being a parent is a job, you will become the chauffeur, nurse, cook, secretary, switchboard, referee, judge, advisor, counselor, athletic coach, teacher, and every other job out there.

I'm in total agreement with NWIP.

172, my husband was AGR for a few years, just recently went AD again. The weeks of TDY's, or just overnighters, can take a toll. Most hours are very predictable for them though--unless she's got a funky CO there. I liked that predictability though. I knew when he was coming home, when dinner would be done and ready, etc.
If you're thinking of finding a job, gonna have to either work part-time or find a daycare that stays open longer for you. I'd go with a person that runs one out of their home. They tend open earlier and stay open longer---some even do evening hours--like 9-10pm!
AGR can be just like AD--funky schedules, weird phone calls, last minute changes, etc.
Just gotta work around it. Find your groove.